streams of unconsciousness

Today there will be an addition to the family.

We’re all very excited about the arrival. Except for the cats, who haven’t quite grasped the concept of extending the family – despite having it explained to them all on several occasions.

Robyn (for that is her name) is a 9-week, 2-day old Sprocker Spaniel. She will be arriving about 4.30pm.

There will be some disruption to the household routines, a lot of ‘stuff’ will have to be moved from chewing range, and other ‘stuff’ will have to be moved around.

And there probably won’t be much sleep for the first few nights. This will be a heartbreaking time during which Robyn will be crying for her mummy and siblings. It’ll be equally heartbreaking for us humans too.

But we aim to give Robyn the very best home, full of doggy fun and walks and laughter and other things.

It’ll be interesting to see how the cats take to the new arrival…

(and the lies of politicians, obv)

Like it or not we all have to pay taxes. Unless we are millionaires who live in Belize, or the Isle of Man, or somewhere else that isn’t the United Kingdom.

Yesterday I reeived a Notification of Tax Rate from HMRC.

Hang on a minute, let me say that again.

Yesterday, exactly one month after the previous one landed on the mat, I received a new Notification of Tax Rate from HMRC.

What’s changed in my personal circumstances in the last month (I hear you cry)?

Well. Nothing.

Nothing has changed in my personal circumstances.

And yet the A5-sized envelope arrived automagically, one month after the last one.

Two months after the Notification of Tax Rate before last.

Three months after the one before the one before last.

What changed in my personal circumstances over the last two, three, and even four months?

Absolutely. Nothing. At. All.

And yet each one is different.

Oh, not big differences, just a couple of hundred quid different in my personal allowance section.

I realise the generation and posting of the A5-sized envelopes, and the inclusion of the three double-sided pieces of A4 inside it, are system events but this is ridiculous.

Note I didn’t say ‘this is starting to get ridiculous’ and the reason I didn’t say ‘starting’ is because in 2018 I received 15 Notification of Tax Rate letters from HMRC.

Now that’s ridiculous!

Last night I needed to put something on top of the Welsh Dresser (Boyo) and something got in the way.

I had a rummage around and found, on its side, an unopened pot of Pot Noodle. King Sized.

When I was single I used to eat a lot of regularly eat Pot Noodleses.

The expiry date for this King Amongst Snacks is April 2018.

I’m tempted to eat it now, but a part of my brain says I should wait two ore months, so I can eat it exactly two years past its expiry date.

It’ll be an interesting biological experiment. I mean it’s only freeze-dried food so it isn’t going to have any latent germs. I’m only going to add boiling water to it and, when it has cooled, inhale it.

Nothing could go wrong, right?

I have been upstairs all evening, almost like one of the many punishments my mother used to dole out in my younger days.

Except this time there was no punishment involved.

*pauses for thought*

It occurs that when I was younger a punishment was being sent to bed early. These days I’d consider that a reward.

Anyway…

I read a book whilst watching a film on Netflix.

Because multitasking comes easily.

During a brief break, I did a small amount of googling that informed me the reason the ZX10R has been so frisky.

You remember I had a new battery fitted recently?

Well it seems that all computers switch back to their default, and the engine management system default is full thrust.

What does this have to do with being upstairs?

No, me neither.

I do surveys for money. I love it when the £50 bank credits drop in to my account. Three so far this year.

The surveys are random; they can be about anything. Topical news stories, music tastes, radio or television viewing, shopping. Anything.

I got one yesterday afternoon that went in to great detail about adverts (as seen on every kind of platform imaginable).

The survey asked if I’d seen adverts for XYZ product in the last 30 days. And so on.

XYZ product manufacturing company has obviously spent a significant amount of money on developing, testing, manufacturing, shipping and, of course, advertising the XYZ product.

And advertising the XYZ product across a range of digital, print, and broadcast media (judging by the questions I was asked).

But unfortunately I have a blind spot for adverts (across the entire range of digital, print, and broadcast media).

Because of this blindspot I was unable to name a single time, place, or method of advertising when I saw the XYZ product.

All my life, it seems, I have been carefully developing an immunity to commercials.

Unfortunately, of late, this carefully constructed skill has been wasted.

Wasted because I have ‘consumed’ (as the media folk have it) almost no mainstream media at all.

Because there is actually nothing on.

With all the many Freeview channels available you would think I’d be able to find *something* to watch?

Something that all the family can watch?

Well, that’s just not the case.

Apart from The Chase, which we will all watch, but (wo)man cannot live on The Chase alone.

It’s ridiculous, though; so many channels of nothing to watch.

If it wasn’t for Netflix and Amazon, the television would hardly ever be on. I’m just trying to work out if that’s a good or a bad thing.

Driving in London (though why anyone would want to do such a thing is beyond me) is about to get much more expensive.

On top of the Congestion Charge (a tax for driving in London), the ULEZ (ultra low emission zone) Charge (it’s just another tax) will be dropped on London’s motorists on 8th April 2019.

The ULEZ Tax will be in operation 24/7*365 and will cost £12.50/day. And that’s on top of the Congestion Charge Tax.

One thing about the ULEZ Tax is it will apply – across the board – to ‘older vehicles’. But it won’t take any note of whether those vehicles have been scrupulously maintained or not.

This is plainly bonkers and so far beyond any kind of logical comprehension it actually sounds like a Marx Brothers plot.

Another thing about the ULEZ Tax is it’s a flat-rate tax. The £12.50/day taxation rate applies equally to small cars, large cars, 4x4s and (wait for it) motorbikes.

I can’t roll my eyes hard enough to match the idiocy in that ridiculous scenario.

Seriously. If you want proof of people in power being hard of understanding, you have it right there.

The lunatics really have taken over the asylum.

We will spend both days this weekend:

1. Shopping, and
2. Making the house and garden safe(r)

The weather forecast is so good I might even take the mower out for a spin.

This is a ridiculous statement, especially when you think that just a couple of weeks ago the average daytime temperature was -5c and every hour threatened a fresh snowfall.

But in the last two days of this week that we have been back from Wiltshire, the ZX10R has been out and about and I have enjoyed every mile she’s given me.

On that point (ZX10R in general, but motorcycling in particular, and circling back to my ‘safe’ theme), I read an interesting comparison published by a traffic consultant, earlier this week.

Whenever there are cyclist accidents in a cluster in London, or a London-based cycling fatality, the Mayor of London (backed by TfL) pumps significant amounts of £s into making that route (or those routes) ‘safer’ for cyclists.

But when motorcyclists have accidents in London, the physical, strategic, tactical, or financial action of the Mayor of London (backed by TfL) is always the square root of naff all.

Which is odd, really, given that motorcycling can move people across the whole of Greater London and nearby counties.

But still, the Mayor of London (backed by TfL) has decreed that motorcyclists must pay the ULEZ charge. So that’s alright then, isn’t it?