As I was driving to work this morning, merrily saluting magpies as I jaunted down the A46, my mind turned to Groucho Marx and his many wise sayings.
The iPod finished playing ‘Disappear’ by ‘inLight’, and then it segued in to ‘Big In Japan’ by the 80s German synth-rockers, Alphaville.
And that got me thinking about the classic sci-fi/distopian noir film ‘Alphaville’, which was written and directed by Jean-Luc Godard.
Now Jean-Luc Godard has had many moments of brilliant witticism, but probably his best were the words “Je suis Marxiste, tendance Groucho.”
And that, obviously, put my head in front of another brilliant witticismist (definitely is a word!), Groucho Marx.
With his greasepainted moustache that sat tauntingly in front of a range of deadpan expressions, Groucho was the perfect foil to any number of fools.
Some of his most famous quotes were written by Hollywood script-writers, but he contributed to many of his own one-liners. Many were on-set adlibs.
But as I momentarily tuned out ‘Big in Japan’, I sniggered as I recalled:
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it
Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have others
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms
She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five
And of course, my favourite:
Please accept my resignation. I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member