It’s behind you!

That pillar of journalistic integrity The Daily Fail Mail has published an insightful piece of seasonal editorial concerning one of the regular ‘hot topics’ that occupies many of our thoughts at this time of year…

Women’s arses.

Yes indeed, Middle England (for whom The Daily Fail Mail widely speaks), must surely be very busy thinking about little else than the size, shape and (quite possibly) the content of the backsides of certain celebrities.

So to aid Middle England’s thoughts on the matter, the editors of The Daily Fail Mail have helpfully provided us with a series of photographs of backsides of a few celebs.

We have for our delight and edificiation, a range of close-up photographs of the arses of:

  • Kate Winslet:
  • Beyonce:
  • Jennifer Lopez:
  • Kelly Holmes:
  • Kylie Minogue:

Setting aside, if you can for a moment, the unbelievably questionable journalistic value of having a non-news story about a non-news item all over The Daily Fail Mail (both hardcopy and internet productions), could you for a moment imagine that you are a family member of one of these people?

Can you think how you might feel if you saw close-up pictures of your relative’s arse all over a comic reputable publication like The Daily Fail Mail in a thinly disguised piece of letchery very poorly masquerading as (I hesitate to use the word) journalism?

But I have an idea!

We could make it a New Year’s Resolution to stalk the journalistic and editorial staff of The Daily Fail Mail and snap photographs of their backsides and post those pictures all over the internet.

What say you?

And, for good measure, we could also stake out the homes of the owners of The Daily Fail Mail, and make sure we take lots of photographs of their wives’ and (18 years or over, natch) daughters’ arses too – and publish those pictures all over the place.

Because surely, what’s good enough for The Daily Fail Mail is good enough for us, no?

B.