It’s our tune, Mavis

BBC Radio 1, in its ever-continuing drive to keep focussed on the younger audience, has shed another million or so listeners.

But the suits at BBCR1 say that’s OK. Losing a million or so listeners (they say) is cool, because you’re only counting listeners, instead of counting, er, YouTube views. Even though all of the BBCR1 YouTube views could actually be down to a couple of dozen pimply 12yo youfs in, er, Doncaster.

But hey, the suits at BBCR1 know what they’re on about. Allegedly.

But here’s a thought.

With the average listener age of BBCR1 being 4-1/2 now, it means that the average BBC Radio 1 listener has never heard this kind of stuff:

I’m not sure if this is a good thing…

Blogathon 10/16: Stick It In Your Ears

There’s usually music around me.

If my iPod isn’t blasting away in my ears, a radio will be tuned in to some music station or other.

I tiptoe around the BBC Radio 2 schedule, trying to avoid The Triple Whammy Of Awfulness that is:


Graham Norton

Steve Wright

Steve Wright

Jo Whiley

Jo Whiley

If I can, I’ll listen to Popmaster, because I fancy my chances. I’ve even tried to get through as a contestant four times in the last two weeks.

I will make a huge effort to catch Simon Mayo; he is quite possibly the best example of a professional radio broadcaster, in the UK, today.

If, for reasons of Graham Norton, Steve Wright, or Jo Whiley, I have to leave Radio 2, I’ll take a punt around the Digital spectrum.

I quite like Planet Rock every now and then.

Planet Rock logo

Planet Rock

I avoid the ILR offerings like the plague (just a few minutes of Gem106 and I’m ready to poke someone in the eye with a blunt object).

But I’ll dip in to SmooooooooooothEfffffffffffffEmmmm now and then.

Smooth Radio

Smooth Radio

Absolute Radio is quite good to experience, now and again, too.

I’ve also tried X (but only tried X for the Chris Moyles Show – which is very good).

Chris Moyles

Chris Moyles

But the radio paradox is, no matter what we think of BBC Radio, or its output, or its presenters, the future of British music (and that of future musicians) is in the hands of… BBC Radio.


Because new music and the BBCs playlists, that’s why.

New music is the lifeblood that keeps the heart and soul of our rock, indie, blues, and even folk futures alive.

Without new music we would have no new discoveries.

Without new music we would be in the hands of TV gameshows.

Without new music there would be no breakout listening experiences

OK, I get why we need new music. But why do we need BBC Radio?

Because new music *and* the BBCs playlists, stoopid.

In the month of June 2015, BBC Radio 1 played 4,000 different tracks.

In the same month – June 2015 – Capital Radio played just 400 different tracks.

And none of the 400 tracks were new music.

That’s why we need BBC Radio.

But for God’s sake, BBC, get rid of Jo Whiley.

Thank you.

Review of Radio 1’s ‘Fun & Filth’ Cabaret?

Sorry? You’re looking for a set of hand-crafted, lovingly assembled reviews of BBC Radio 1’s Fun and Filth Cabaret in Edinburgh?


Click here to find a review of Night 1. Enjoy. We didn’t, much.

Click here to find a review of Night 2. A much better affair.

Click here to find a review of Night 3. Consistently on target.

Click here to find a review of Night 4. A rubbish start followed by bright spells.

Losing it…

Children will always be children’, the television advert for the French dairy product said a few minutes ago. Do we need to write in, pointing out that children will not always be children? They will, in fact, grow up at some stage in their lives.

Speaking of growing up, I had an interview for a new contract on Thursday; there were two candidates. This evening I got the result. I am, apparently, just a little over-qualified. Hmmm…

Today the television has been on non-stop. With the sound off. Don’t ask me why, but it’s one of life’s little weirdnesses that I write better (and quicker) with the television on, but with the sound off. I compensate for the sound-offness by listening to music. I know! How weird? My brain has the temerity to produce better writing with the TV on but sound off, and needs to compensate by having the stereo on! Go figure. Three sets of reviews and a draft shooting script for the sitcom. Woo, go me. I have to big myself up, I’m a little bit put out at being denied a job because I am ‘just a little over-qualified’.

Soph’s gone kick-boxing with the lovely-but-slightly-loopy Gemma, this evening. It’s nice that they hang around together. I’m slightly fearful for the rest of us when two mentalists gather in such close proximity, though. I hope the world won’t spontaneously implode under the pressure of a hitherto uncatalogued physical pressure which will, in the future, be called ‘dark mentalism’.

Anyone who follows me on Twitter will know that I put out an update today that said I’m thinking of writing a TwitterPorn story. The idea is fairly simple, in a way it’s a kind of performance art: I’ll put out a single-word, once an hour, with the hashtag #pornstory. The words won’t make sentences, per se, but they will enable the reader to construct his/her own story around them. See what I’m doing? Getting the reader to introduce their own imagination as a component? Oh. Not impressed? I thought it was an interesting exercise in *reader* creativity. What do you reckon?

Yesterday, during an emergency visit to Tesco for milk (what the hell is it that we do with milk? Seriously! We go through gallons of the stuff), I *cough* accidentally picked up a jar of Sandwich Spread. Is there anyone else addicted to this wonder of the food world?

Apparently the television station Virgin 1 has been rebranded to ‘Channel One’. Such a shame that the on-air branding in the corner of the screen still says ‘Virgin 1’.

Allister and I are potentially recording the first of the ‘Unsigned World’ shows for UKHDRadio tomorrow morning. Scary stuff! Exciting, but scary.

What are you doing? You never call, you never write, you’re a constant worry to your poor old mother father sister brother friend…