Soccer upset

In a completely predictable upset, this evening in Eastern Europe, eleven Italian millionaires proved they were no match for 11 English millionaires.

Post-match analysis conclusively proved that Wayne Rooney scored no goals, a feat matched by all of his England colleagues.

Nice arrers!

I have been doing further thinking on my quest to find new ‘instant hit’ TV shows.

Following on from last week’s ‘Antique Roadshow Rewind‘, this week I’d like to look at the semi-sporting world of pub games.

In particular, darts.

The sport game of Darts is, to the outsider, a bit tame totally fucking tedious.

But how to liven up the spectacle of two men (who may or may not be seriously overweight) throwing Lilliputian javelins at a glorified RAF roundel?

My first thought was ‘Rottweilers!’ How about two darts players, in a cage, throwing for the highest score against the clock?

The mad-as-a-box-of-snakes Rottweilers are held at bay by a gate that is on a timer.

Both darts players would be harnessed up to a safety rig and, as the clock counts down to the last second, the player with the highest score gets whisked up out of the pit…

As the door to the Rottweiler’s cage drops, leaving the loser to a messy fate.

But then I thought ‘Nah, that wouldn’t work. The RSPCA would complain about something’.

So I started looking for a threat that would bring escalating levels of excitement.

A threat that would bring danger, tension and, yes, television ratings – to an otherwise dull spectacle.

And one that wouldn’t jeopardise any animals.

It came to me.

A compression chamber should be used as the setting for ‘Dart Explosion!’

We put our two dartists in to a large compression/decompression chamber. They have 90-seconds to achieve the highest score, and as the countdown gets closer and closer to the conclusion, the oxygen is pumped out of the compression chamber!

A hatch will open in front of the winner and they’ll get an oxygen mask. The loser gets… a vacuum.

What do you think?

Anyone for a game of extreme darts?

Thoughts from inside my head

  1. FIFA is the World Governing Body of Football
  2. Serious allegations have been made in a television documentary about a number of FIFA delegates including
  3. that they (allegedly) took substantial amounts of money from vested sources, in return for making certain decision-making favours
  4. Question: is the World Governing Body of Football fit for purpose?

It just seems to me that, in Europe in particular, there is a mind-bogglingly huge amount of money in the sport of football.

So surely FIFA and its delegates should be cleaner than clean?

Or have a wholesale turnover of staff, at every level of the organisation, until it is?