Brennig Jones (and friends)

I am cooking. In the kitchen, obv.

In fact I’ve just twittered that, with an accompanying photo. Because I’m weird. Obv.

Soph has declined my offer of cooked food. She is either clairvoyant or mad – because there is no middle ground with my cooking. It is either absolutely bloody brilliant or it is shit.

Tonight’s effort smells, I have to admit, of absolutely bloody brilliance.

However.

A short span of time passes…

I am no longer cooking. I am also no longer in the kitchen. My appetisingly-smellingly meal is cooling next to me.

I am in the lounge, on the couch (not the ouch, as I first typed. That’s something completely different of which we shall never speak here).

There is an episode of Friends on the TV.

It is approximately 18 years old. The episode of Friends, not the TV. The TV is less than four months old.

Has humanity not witnessed enough suffering?

Must the TV companies continue to inflict the third-rate comedy, made marginally amusing only by virtue of the canned and all-too-fake laughter, on us?

Do we have to endure this sadly dated and socially irrelevant garbage for much longer?

If I write to my MP asking him to put a Bill before the House to remove this (and I hesitate to use the word) ‘entertainment’ from our screens will he thank me for stating the blindingly obvious?

Another short span of time passes…

Did you know there’s a character in Glee with the name ‘Sandy Ryerson’? And did you know that he’s played by the same actor (Stephen Tobolowsky) who played the character ‘Ned Ryerson’ in Groundhog Day?

Did you?

Did you also know that Buffaloes don’t actually have wings?

And while I’m pointing out strangely true but ridiculous things…

Did you know that the leader of one of the worst sects ever – the Roman Catholic Church – who goes under an assumed name of Pope Benedict XVI, has called on his ‘followers’ to fight the Equality Bill that is currently going through Parliament.

His reason for encouraging his minions to take a public stance against the bill?

Because (and I quote) ‘In some respects it actually violates the natural law upon which the equality of all human beings is grounded and by which it is guaranteed’.

Don’t believe me? Source.

So this guy wants his sect to be exempt from equality legislation whilst proclaiming that his sect doesn’t discriminate, when it plainly does? How deliciously oxymoronic!

And what a total twat.

The sooner *all* of these nutcase sects are stripped of *any* exemption from equality legislation, the better; they’re all as bad as each other.

Dinosaurs.

Anyway, getting back on to my original track…

Cooking for one – which I have done this evening, because Soph was on lates – is such a pain in the arse, isn’t it?

So how – if you do it – do you do it?

‘Cos for me, cooking for one is a chore – and one best avoided through the dubious application of junk food.

But I don’t *want* to eat junk food, I want to eat the good shit.

So how do you do it? Huh?