Mission Impossible 2 (An Accent Too Far)
M:I-2 is an odd film which features an
impossible implausible plot and:
- An arch baddie with a bad Scottish accent
- A sub baddie with a bad Australian accent
- A goodie with a bad Australian accent, and
- A goodie with a bad English accent.
However the film is jammed full of hi-tech goodies such as:
Those rubberish face-masks that let the wearer be someone else, even though they’re a different height and a completely different build
Tom Cruise’s Triumph Speed Triple having an auto-rear-tyre-change function, that somehow flips the rear tyre from slicks to roads, to cross-country and back to roads again, all in the space of one fast pursuit.
Yet even all of these technological marvels fail to lift MI: 2 out of the bathtub of mediocrity that it fell in to, in an early scene in Cadiz.
And the predictably obvious ‘fight to the death’ that Mr Cruise has with the arch baddie is just dull.
Actually no, it isn’t just dull.
It’s tiresomely dull.
So is the soundtrack.
I’m not sure what happened to MI: 2, but somewhere along the way, probably in a workshop deep within the creative phase, the film got out of control, like a rampaging bull in a shop in the middle of China.
M:I-2 should have been put to sleep, humanely.
But instead they went ahead and finished it.
I wish they hadn’t.
And I watched it.
I wish I hadn’t.