Pssssst… wanna buy a pistol?

It’s a beaut.

* Beretta M9, 9mm (so it’ll take NATO, Russian and Chinese 9mm ammunition)

* Semi-automatic

* Single or double-action

* Handle up to 15 rounds

* 1,200 feet per second muzzle velocity

* List price = $263 each

It’s very similar to the 9mm Browning Hi-Power I carried around with me for four years, but with a loaded weight of 2.55 Lbs it’s significantly lighter.

And terribly (sic) accurate.


We might be able to get you up to 80,000.

That’s the number that the US troops have misplaced in Iraq.

Eighty thousand?

A couple of hundred weapons AWOL from the armoury might be fair enough given the scope and duration of the conflict in Iraq.

But… eighty thousand?

Given the proximity of Turkey to Iraq, I wonder how easy it would be for an enterprising European to do a little shopping in the region?

Smuggling automatic pistols in to the UK would be ridiculously easy.

Hell, if I can smuggle a person in to the UK, getting in a bunch of Berettas would be child’s play.

And 9mm ammunition almost grows on trees – if you know where the picking’s good.


But that’s only the UK.

Suppose these 80,000 beautifully engineered weapons of individual destruction turned up somewhere else?


In the hands of the enemies of the US-led coalition?


Do you think we should add to the arsenal of the enemies of democracy the 110,000 AK47s that have also been misplaced?

Which are, boringly enough, weapons of 7.62mm calibre (and after Bosnia there’s enough 7.62mm ammunition swashing around the planet to keep us all happily killing each other for decades to come).

We’re all doomed, Captain Mainwaring, doomed!


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3 Responses to Pssssst… wanna buy a pistol?

  1. Chloé says:


    I want two of them.

    I mean, if they lost 80,000 of these delicate, refined, charming tools, someone could certainly spare two of them for me, right?

    What I want to do with them? Hmm… I don’t know yet. But I certainly can’t miss such an offer.

    On the other hand, I don’t have $526 to spend. Forget about it. I’ll use implacable logic, yelling, and if really it becomes necessary, I’ll kick.

  2. Brennig says:

    Kicking is good, way more preferable to firearms.

    If you’re wearing hard-soled/heeled shoes remember to scrape your foot down the lower inside leg of the person you’re trying to annoy.

  3. Thebigpaul says:

    Sura I wanna buy a F92!
    Tell me where.
    Whta shall I do?
    Fun. Here in Italy they require a bunch of paper to fill to buy a gun. I dont want to spend time to fill forms and go back and forth to Police station…