I’ve been reading the Daily Mail again (1)

Yes I know. I’m sorry. I really should stop.

But…

Rowan Pelling’s Sex Advice Column (and does anyone else have a really good laugh at the double in that entendre?) is a wonderful insight on what the world must have been like c. 1952 – because surely, that’s when this stuff was written.

Today’s offering to the housewife of a bygone era comes to us courtesy of this letter:
My partner really wants me to have a Brazilian wax. He says it will spice up our love life. But I’ve never been that comfortable with the idea of stripping off so much intimate hair. I can’t help feeling that his request is an implicit criticism of my natural body.

Setting aside, for just one moment, the blindingly obvious logic flaw in the (ahem) letter from the (ahem) reader that a discussion about the removal of her pubic hair somehow relates to an implicit criticism of her natural body, would anyone, seriously… anyone… sit down and write such a letter to (of all things) a rabidly right-wing tabloid newspaper? Really?

Well no, of course not.

But I like these (cough) letters in Rowan Pelling’s Sex Advice Column (tee hee!), they are glimpses of a part of the British Empire where the sun actually set many years ago.

But, in the spirit of public service, my somewhat more 21st Century advice to the (cough) letter writer would be something along the lines of…

What nicer way of passing the time can there be for you and your partner to have a shower (not necessarily together) and get thoroughly squeaky clean, dry off, slip in to bed and kiss and caress each other.

After you’ve finished your cup of tea, obv.

And then he (or she – whatever floats your boat), gradually eases his (or her) way downwards via a satisfying diversion at your breasts, down to your stomach, to your hips where he (or she) nibbles playfully before passing further southwards until he (she) is positioned between your legs.

And after gentle, almost teasing, playfulness he (she) explores your most intimate places with his tongue and lips.

Unhurriedly, never-tiring, he allows his gently probing tongue to explore, to become so wonderfully familiar with every inch of your labia, clitoris, deep inside your vagina and perhaps, if he dares, your anus, that you cannot contain yourself any longer and you orgasm, wetly, on his lips.

And how pleasant is all of this for him, how wonderfully enjoyable has it been, to perform these sexual acts without having to stop every few moments to remove fragments of organic dental floss (pubic hair) from his teeth?

And when you have recovered from your orgasm he raises himself between your legs and smoothly enters you, his erection penetrates deeply in to your clinging wetness, his cock stimulates new areas deep inside you, as you gasp your desire and urge him onwards with your hips…

But…

Daily Mail reader?

Yeah, I’d leave it as it is. Be hairy. After all, we don’t want too much enjoyment in the bedroom. It might disturb the natives.

Source: Rowan Pelling’s Sex Column (tee hee)

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4 Responses to I’ve been reading the Daily Mail again (1)

  1. monkey says:

    ‘my natural body’….?

  2. S. Le says:

    Oh my! (blushing a bit)

  3. Ash says:

    I must admit to being somewhat aroused.

  4. Brennig says:

    Monkey, yep, as opposed to your unnatural body

    S. Le, I have a filthy mind. This is a fact.

    Ash, yeah, but I’d heard you were easy.