Working like a dog

Hello?

Is that Worcestershire county council?

Good, I want to make a complaint.

Yes, I’ll wait, if I have to.

Hello?

I want to complain.

It’s about the lorries.

Yes lorries, the big ones, the HGVs.

They’re blocking the layby.

Well when I say the layby I mean they’re blocking every single layby.

I was out in my car last night and in the 12 miles between here and Worcester there were fourteen – FOURTEEN – extra-large HGV articulated lorries parked up, all of them blocking the laybys for us normal motorists.

And on the return trip two hours later do you know how many i saw?

Fourteen!

Yes, again. The same fourteen.

What on earth is going on?

Laybys used to be where one could pull over and have a breather for a few minutes.

But these days one can’t even get in the laybys – they’re full with HGVs while the lorry drivers get their eight or nine hours sleep!

When did this change happen?

Did someone consult us?

How on earth is one supposed to get out for a drive, pull in to a layby and give some random 35-year-old housewife a good fucking up the arse while her husband stands outside the car having a wank, that’s what I want to know?

We pay our taxes you know.

Hello?

HELLO?

I say Emily, the bastard’s hung up!

B.

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12 Responses to Working like a dog

  1. Despina says:

    Hahahahaha! Funny! :p

  2. Citronella says:

    The whole genius of this text lays in the last sentence. I say.

  3. hoverFrog says:

    *snigger*

    On the subject matter and ignoring the punchline I have some insight into truckers that I can certainly share. Truckers, under European law, have to rest for a certain number of hours in each shift. They have devices fitted to their vehicles to alert them and to monitor their rest times. If they don’t rest then they can be fined and fired from their jobs.

    Unfortunately the employers are under no obligation to pay for accomodation for the drivers. They are therefore forced to either pay for it themselves or sleep in their cabs.

    Now if you’re looking for good dogging locations then I suggest the nearest forest or picnic area. You get the added thrill of being caught by people who are actually walking their dogs.

  4. Ginny says:

    *blinks*

    *blushes*

  5. Brennig says:

    Despina – Thanks. You’re funny yourself. But in a good way. Not a mental way at all. Oh no. 🙂

    Citronella – Bless ya!

    hoverFrog – Thanks for the snigger. I was aiming for the funny bone. And yep, I know the rules. I have a Cargo 1015. Not really a dogging kind of person. I prefer my sexual activity to be far more exclusive and involving people I’m married to. Which kind of narrows things down a little. lol!

    Ginny – Avert your eyes from such rudeness! 🙂

    But… the whole lorries parked in laybys thing? That’s completely true. We did drive to Worcester and back last night and all of the laybys were full up with HGVs – thereby stopping motorists from pulling over to use their mobile phones, adjust their satnavs or do any of the other things that they’re not allowed to do whilst driving.

  6. Mya says:

    How rude! How weird! How come I’d never heard of this before? Must be losing my touch.
    Mya x

  7. Brennig says:

    lol Mya, just a little joke. 🙂

  8. Ginny says:

    My eyes, my eyes…!

    😛

  9. Ginny says:

    By the way; why do you have a separate category for dogging? 😛

  10. Brennig says:

    Well Gin, that’ll be because of the situation with Milly Next Door – the dog that wouldn’t stop barking when she was left alone. I categorised those posts as ‘Dogging’, natch. Mind you, there seem to be a lot of people googling ‘Dogging in Worcestershire’ so perhaps I should have used something else? Perhaps something like ‘Noisy dirty bitches on all fours’? rofl!

  11. Ginny says:

    BRENNIG!

    My innocence is being lost at a rate of knots

  12. Brennig says:

    Now that, young Ginny, is an interesting philosophical point you’ve raised. Can innocence be lost at a rate of knots (where a rate of knots is an undefined measurement of progress against the table of nautical measurement of speed)?

    Hmmm… we might need to consult Aristotle on this one. 🙂