I have to write a thing.
A very focussed, incisive business thing.
It has to, briefly, summarise a complex situation, it must list the alternatives for improving a critical situation, it should explore the high-level pros and cons of the alternatives, and match the organisation’s strategy with the most appropriate solution.
I like writing this kind of thing.
Constructing and then putting a well-written, soundly-argued piece of logically-driven writing in front of the highest level of a £ multi-billion organisation is to expose my writing, and the thinking behind it, to a readership of intensely critical thinkers.
Normally I rise to the challenge.
But today there is a small problem.
My brain won’t work.
I’ve been staring at the first page for half an hour.
There’s a title.
And that’s it.
The more I stare at the sheet, the more my brain refuses to cooperate.
Which is why I’m writing this piece, obv.
This is an attempt to kick-start my intelligence in to productivity.
The weird thing is not that my brain seems to have evaporated overnight.
No, the weird thing is what I see when I look at the (almost) blank piece of paper.
The number ’43’.
How can my eyes look at a blank sheet of paper, but my head chooses to register the number ’43’?
I’ve been staring at this non-existent number (if you see what I mean) for the last half-hour, trying to get going.
I’m still not hitting any kind of a ‘get going’ stride.
In racing terms, cantering swiftly out of the starting gate would be good, but right now I’d settle for leaving the paddock at a stiff walk.
*pauses for another stare at ’43’ which isn’t actually there*
This isn’t writer’s block.
This is an indication of something far more sinister.
I believe that sometime during the night I was visited by aliens.
They sneaked up to my slumbering form and, through some kind of telekinetic mind-meld thing, they extracted what little intelligence I had left.
I am hoping that writing this will get at least one cylinder firing.
But here’s something that I would like to give you.
If you have the Chrome browser, click on the link below (in Chrome, obviously) and watch the most awesome piece of design I can ever remember.
The tune’s not too shabby – have Arcade Fire ever done something not worth listening to?
But the accompanying video will knock your socks off