‘Ello? Yeah, it’s me. I’m on the ‘plane

The  news that Ofcom has approved the use of mobile telephones on aeroplanes fills me with dread.

In the UK we laugh when comedians (cf Dom Joly’s joke character) heaves an unbearably loud, improbably large mobile telephone earwards and shouts “I’m on the train!”

But how would we laugh when (trapped in a crowded, claustrophobia-inducing  narrow metal cylinder that’s travelling at over 30,000 feet at a speed of greater than 400mph with several hundred other poor folk) we hear the dreaded Crazy Frog (or similar) ring tone followed by: “Yeah? No, we’re over France or Spain or sumwhere I fink. Yeah, got burned. Well pissed too.”?

I suspect we wouldn’t laugh at all.

Please Ofcom, reverse this awful decision!

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11 Responses to ‘Ello? Yeah, it’s me. I’m on the ‘plane

  1. Caroline says:

    Ha, I can top that!

    8pm, Venice, Valentine’s Day. Mike and I are on a No.1 vaporetto which is unusually quiet – nearly everyone on board is part of a couple and is enjoying the magnificent sight of the Grand Canal by night.

    Behind me, Essex Girl picks up her mobile.

    “Hello? Mum? Yes, we’re on our way back to the coach now. We’re going up the river on a boat. It’s just like home. How’s Grandad?”

    Atmosphere promptly ruined. I swear I’m leaning more and more to Miss Lavish’s opinion in A Room With A View:


    “Stop a minute; let those two people go on, or I shall have to speak to them. I do detest conventional intercourse. Nasty! they are going into the church, too. Oh, the Britisher abroad!”

    “We sat opposite them at dinner last night. They have given us their rooms. They were so very kind.”

    “Look at their figures!” laughed Miss Lavish. “They walk through my Italy like a pair of cows. It’s very naughty of me, but I would like to set an examination paper at Dover, and turn back every tourist who couldn’t pass it.”

  2. Stratford Girl says:

    I agree – what a nightmare!!

  3. Despina says:

    Ugh, no no nooooooo! Imagine all the irritation they will cause, in that sort of environment too, it’s a terrible decision!

  4. Brennig says:

    Caroline – I’m not sure it’s a competition of bad tastelessness! 🙂 But I’m having a big chuckle over your Essex girl.

    SG – Can you imagine the horror of being trapped in an aeroplane with someone like that sitting behind you for three hours? Argh!

    Despina – Thanks for stopping by. I fully agree it’s a terrible decision.

  5. hoverFrog says:

    The London Underground will be the final refuge from mobile phones.

  6. Ariel says:

    I heard, I read, I cried. If Ofcom doesn’t reverse the decision, maybe they could make the issue of earplugs upon boarding compulsory? But then we wouldn’t hear the captain’s announcements, or indeed be able to listen to the awful in-flight entertainment…

  7. Despina says:

    Thanks for the linky love Bren! xx

  8. Citronella says:

    It’s maddening enough to have to deal with crying babies, excited teenagers and snoring old guys, but really, if we start having phones ringing and people yelling in them, I advise them to really check carefully for weapons in my carry-on luggage.

    The day it happens on transatlantic flights will be a very, very sad day indeed.

  9. Brennig says:

    hoverFrog: It could be a marketing campaign for the Underground! Come down the drain, where you’re safe from mobile technology!

    Ariel: I hide from the aircrew and in-flight stuff, that’s what iPods were invented for. 🙂 And Hi, by the way. Thanks for popping in.

    Despina: Grin!

    Citronella: Oh… I’m soooo with you on the crying babies. I think air travel should have a minimum age limit. And in some people’s hands a tired 14-week child actually is a weapon of mass destruction!

  10. Jonners says:

    My mind boggles more, the more I hear about “progress”.

  11. sooz says:

    They allow children with (incompetent) PARENTS on planes. No idea.