I mean, what do you say to people when you learn they’ve had a very close family bereavement?
‘I’m sorry’ is so lame.
It doesn’t really convey anything and anyway, what is it that I’m being so apologetic about?
There are other circumstances that are just about on the same level of devastation as a close family bereavement.
Losing a much loved pet (I still grieve for Beech, every day my friends, every single day) is in that category.
And another kind of bereavement.
The death of a relationship.
This week one of my colleagues at work told me that his (grown up) daughter has been dumped by the guy she was living with; he just walked out.
God that’s just so similar to a bereavement – the poor girl. I’m not taking sides, I don’t judge him… I just understand how she feels.
And then someone else I know, someone I worked in London with, told me that her Mum had passed away.
The words ‘I’m sorry’ seem so inadequate.
I’d never met her Mum but that’s not the point – I’ve listened to my friend speak about her.
And now she’s gone, just like the relationship that my colleague’s daughter had (past tense).
Different kinds of death, but death all the same.
A few days ago (this really hasn’t been a good week for this kind of stuff) another colleague took me aside and said that her husband of 20 years had walked out on her and their two children.
Another relationship to grieve over, another instance where ‘Oh my God, I’m so sorry’ seems so completely inadequate.
People. Glass Houses. Stones.
I’m far, far, far from perfect.
I’ve done my share of dumping, I’ve caused the death of some relationships – I still feel bad about one or two of them even though my actions were the right thing to do…
Doesn’t mean I still don’t grieve.
But there’s my former colleague friend and her Mum, my colleague and his ‘widowed’ daughter, my colleague and her new status as a single mum…
All grieving in their own way.
And I suppose I am too; empath that I am.
Feeling very sorry for everyone.
But ‘sorry’ is such a lame word.