Same song, different tune


When you are in a public place with your offspring, you need to remember a simple set of rules:

  • You own that fucking child
  • You have a total responsibility to be a parent to your child at all fucking times
  • Being a parent is not a part-time thing
  • If you ignore that child of yours, it will run fucking riot
  • It will whine and cry and scream and it will make a fucking noisome din
  • But because you are the parent, you can tune the rioting brat out
  • We, the rest of humanity, we fucking can’t
  • If you ignore your fucking brat and it runs riot and whines and shouts
  • I will fucking stamp on it
  • And it will be YOUR FAULT
  • Just because you ignored it
  • In a public place
  • And let it go fucking mental
  • Within the sight and hearing of someone who doesn’t fucking care about it
That is all.
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14 Responses to Same song, different tune

  1. Claire says:

    But true!

  2. Sue says:

    Well said that man!

  3. Bulldog says:

    No, no, no. All wrong. According to our illustrious Secretary of State, it takes a village to raise a child.

  4. Caroline says:

    I wish you could have been there to say that to the father of the 2-y-o on a 12 hour night flight to Mauritius. The kid didn’t stop yelling for more than 45 minutes at a time and by 3am the entire cabin was ready to drop kick it out of the emergency exit. They hadn’t even brought any toys to keep it entertained.

    • Brennig says:

      Caro, I’m renown for my tact and diplomacy. I *would* have said something. Politely. Firmly. But I would have.

  5. Vicola says:

    Amen to that. I had to open my front door and bellow at the crowd of little fuckers off my estate who were having an actual ‘who can scream the loudest and longest’ competition at the end of my driveway. As it turns out, I can. Doubt they’ll be doing that again, never seen kids look so scared in my life.

    • Brennig says:

      I love kids, V. Couldn’t eat a whole one though. Well done for screaming at the little fuckers. You are aces.

  6. hoverFrog says:

    Hang on a mo. Are you saying that we parents can’t just bring children into the world and let them run wild? That just doesn’t seem right to me. I mean surely feral children will be better prepared to operate in this cut throat world of high technology. If they learn to make their own weapons from nothing but bogies and spit and develop their own language of grunts, expletives and insults then surely this will serve them perfectly when they have so sign on when they are 16. We can’t expect every child to grow up to be a productive member of society. Really we can hardly expect that for one in ten.

    Honestly I don’t think that you’ve thought this through.