The reveal…

Redacted while seeking counsel

The redaction may be temporary

It may not be

But read and contribute to the comments on this piece, I would be interested in your view

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14 Responses to The reveal…

  1. IanB says:

    Brennig as someone who considers himself your friend I implore you to think again about writing this – or at least publishing it in this way.

    I don’t know if you have anyone who you can talk to who is independent of both yourself and Soph but you need to do so. You need to go to someone who will not be sycophantic to either person or position and give you a way to discuss this. I’m not this person. This blog is not the place.

    Right now your thinking is invaded by your reactions to your situation. My thinking is clouded by my reactions to my past situations and two divorces.

    Please, take a step back, gather yourself and go to someone unconnected who can shout at the demons with you and show you which of them are really angels in disguise.

    Your friend, Ian.

    • Brennig says:

      Ian, as someone who considers himself to be your friend, I’ve pulled this post and the blog that it linked to.

      I don’t know why I have done this, but you have advised it and I value and trust your judgement.

      My purpose, in pursing this course, was to punish every one of the wrongdoers who has inflicted such terrible, catastrophic pain in to my life.

      Am I now not allowed to bring pain in to theirs?

      When people transgress – whether laws of nature, criminal or civil laws – they are punished.

      Have we come to the point where simply *pointing out the truth* is no longer acceptable because it might ‘offend’ someone who has, frankly, caused tremendous harm (even if that harm is emotional and psychological damage)?

      Have we reached the point where merely highlighting what has gone before is no longer acceptable, even though ‘what went before’ destroyed a marriage?

      Where is my right?

      Where is my ability to make a stand against people who have behaved unacceptably?

      Where is the education process, if we hush these things up and never speak of them again?

      Who learns from that?

  2. Soupy says:

    I feel strongly that when a person hurts another as deeply as in this case, it is imperative that that person understands FULLY the depth of that pain, the psychological and emotional harm they have caused. I think what’s so very troublesome about this is that this isn’t a one off. As indeed B did, you might well give someone a second chance when infidelity is the centre of the anguish. It is astonishing that his ex partner learnt nothing from this. It is absolutely unforgivable to selfishly inflict again the very same wound. What a callous woman. I hear Bren clearly: why should she get off scotfree? She’s many times humiliated him. I hope she’s not been complaining about his reaction, that would be astonishing given her behaviour.

  3. IanB says:

    I’m not getting involved in who’s right, wrong, guilty or innocent. What was written – heartfelt truth, raw pain, retributive punishment by word-scourging or whatever seemed…not advisable.

    I’m not legal counsel or psychologically-trained guidance ninny. I’m just Ian.

    • Brennig says:

      ‘I’m not legal counsel or psychologically-trained guidance ninny. I’m just Ian.’

      Actually, as someone I consider to be wise and good friend, someone whose opinions I value, you are a counsel of mine.

  4. IanB says:

    Also: an eye-for-a-tooth is rarely right.

    • Brennig says:

      Yet that is what the justice system of most countries is based on. It’s a kind of Newtonian legal effect ‘for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction’. Crime = punishment.

  5. Masher says:

    I’m kinda with Ian on this.

    The secret blog was, I thought, a good thing. A good thing for you, A way for you to express yourself and let off some steam. I’m sure we’ve all felt the cathartic effect that putting things down on ‘paper’ sometimes allows us.

    And having your secret blog actually being not so secret, but seen by a small/select audience, is probably also good for you: maybe you need your cries of pain and anguish to heard. And shared. That possibly helps you; I don’t know.

    But exposing it to one and all is not so good. Your head is all over the place at the moment, mate, and I think that washing your dirty laundry in front of the vast audience of the interwebs (even if the dirt isn’t yours) is akin to breaking it to the world on the Jeremy Kyle show. And I think that in time, that is something you’d truly come to regret, for you and your life are definitely not Jeremy Kyle material.

    But, I don’t think you need counselling. I think you just need some time.

  6. Gumpher says:

    Bren, I’ve got to say that I was surprised that you linked everything form this site.

    It’s obviously important for you to express your emotions in words, and what you have written is raw, powerful, and moving.

    I’m not sure that this is the place to publish it.

    • Brennig says:

      Thanks Gumpher. And again, more words from yet another person I’ve ‘known’ for years, and have come to respect.

  7. Vicola says:

    As someone who hasn’t read the reveal post, only the comments I’d say that it sounds like something pretty huge has happened, something probably involving infidelity of some kind. My initial reaction to anything that hurts, upsets or winds me up is to lash out, to make a big public noise about it and to make them look like an asshole as well as ensuring everyone knows they’re an asshole. This brings temporary satisfaction but there have been many many instances when it’s turned out that my reaction has made things worse or has damaged my case. So what I’d advise from my experience is this – take some time, calm down a little, let your emotions settle as much as they can and don’t act on instinct or fury because you might regret it once the dust clears. If, once you’ve had some time to consider things rationally you feel you still want to go for some sort of revenge post or reveal then ok but do not go for the knee jerk anger. It’s fine to do that for the little day to day stuff that goes on but take it from someone who has fucked it up before, it’s not always the way forward for the big stuff. Hope this is of some use, if not, feel free to ignore it!

  8. Hey matey, I didn’t know that you had published details of your other blog until I read this post. And I think Masher summed it up brilliantly – it was a great place to vent and share with a select few. But you are in a vulnerable place, and it would be rotten if it came back and bit your arse because it was opened to the masses.

    On the flip side though, I agree with Soupy. You SHOULD be able to talk about your situation, albeit on a higher (and not so detailed) level. It’s your blog, and your followers care. You should be able to communicate with them about your anguish and frustration.

    So don’t stop writing about what is happening – stiff upper lips are wank. You are easily clever enough to find a middle ground xxxxx

    P.S. hope your journey’s went well this week