Things to do. Things not to do.
Today, despite being (in my head and externally) normal/cheery, I feel (in my heart) incredibly weepy.
Grief (or the act of grieving) seems to be sitting squarely and suffocatingly heavily around my shoulders.
Al I can think of is what I’ve lost (everything), and compare that to what’s left (…….) .
Still, onwards and upwards.
I have decided that I’m going to live the rest of my life alone.
Which looks very odd when I see it like that, but the decision is resolute.
I’m not planning on becoming celibate; given what passes for ‘normal’ in my libido, that seems very unlikely.
But I have decided to be by myself; keep my own company.
I can’t imagine putting any emotional trust in anyone ever again.
Speaking of trust.
I have to go to Cheltenham tomorrow. It will be, from an analytical point interesting to see how strong the desire to pull certain searches might be.
Today I will be buying a new iron.
And trying not to weep.