Up north

I woke up, this morning, in a strange Mancunian bed.

It wasn’t a talking bed that said words in a strange, Mancunian way, or anything like that, it’s just a bed in a Manchester hotel.

I have pulled out all the stops; this is possibly one of the most expensive hotels I’ve ever stayed in, but I did manage to knock £85 off the list price, through Expedia.


Speaking of discounts, I paid my Oxford parking ticket yesterday. It came to £25 because I paid so quickly.

It doesn’t seem so expensive if you say it very quickly.



And besides, twentyfivequid is absolutely nothing compared to the price of this place.

I have a suite.

See, I said I’d pulled out all the stops.

I’m expecting delivery of my room-service breakfast, as I type this. I’m sitting, in a white fluffy bathrobe the size of Newport, at the desk in the ‘office’, wondering what else I can do for fun.

The ‘media centre’ in the lounge looks like the control panel of an Airbus, but I mastered the off/on/off switches.

Despite having (I’d guess) £25,000 of media technology in there, there was still nothing on the TV last night.

I didn’t do the porn thing, I was too tired last night.


Today will find me at the BBC/ITV/C4 Comedy Writers Conference in Salford.

Looking at the itinerary/agenda, it seems the day will be full of seriousness and lacking laughs.

I’m a little disappointed.

Ah, there’s a knock at the door!

Breakfast has arrived.


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6 Responses to Up north

  1. Vicola says:

    Bloody hell, Bren, which hotel are you in? Are you at the Lowry? I’m in Salford, almost, I work next door to the Trafford Centre! You should have said you were coming daftass.

    • Brennig says:

      And so we met. Thank you for your time. And also, thank you for being understanding. And also, thank you for being brilliant. And also… thank you for having such a cute dog!

      • Vicola says:

        IT was a pleasure Bren! Always lovely to put a face to the name and in your case, the voice from the podcast.Hope your journey back was ok and that things work out the way you want them to.

        • Brennig says:

          Thanks V. It isn’t going to happen, obv, but it was nice to speak of such things with you. x

  2. Perpetual says:

    Good to see you spoiled yourself. Aren’t those suites fantastic.

    Was the comedy writers conference everything you hoped it would be?

    • Brennig says:

      Indeedy, it was. I’ll get around to a write-up when I have time. Thanks for the tip on the hotel suites, Perp!