I am sitting in bed with, on my left, our marriage certificate and, on my right, the completed divorce papers that I shall send to the court, this afternoon.
The former is a reminder of a happier day, a time when the things that have happened in the last few weeks would have been unimaginable.
The latter brings everything in to focus, it is a statement that there really is no turning back.
Unsurprisingly, this makes me sad.
I look at the details of her sins against our wedding vows, spelt out in honest terms in the court documents.
And I still feel sad.
I wish I could turn the clock back; wish I could fix things before they occurred.
But I can’t.
This is the real world; a place where pain and sadness now seem to live with me, every day.
I shall post these documents this afternoon.
And I shall continue to feel sad.