Saturday night in the house of big fun

The central heating boiler ticks off, the pipes that feed the hot water tank begin to cool almost immediately.

The noise they make sounds like some kind of thermally-driven metronome as it ticks down through the centigrade scale.

Apart from that cooling/ticking, the house is silent.

Through the windows the late-spring evening is also closing down, but here and there shafts of ultra-bright sunlight – that haven’t yet been hidden behind the neighbouring roofs – burst through and illuminate the trees; picking out the lighter greenery and the fading blossom.


The house isn’t totally silent after all.

The man sits on the couch in the lounge, laptop before him.

Tappety tap tappety tippety tappety tap; his fingers dance across the keyboard with great speed and accuracy.

He’s unshaven, hair ruffled; he looks weary.

His white T-Shirt carries humorous cartoons of Greek cats.

He’s also wearing a beige pair of lycra jodhpurs.

His laptop is connected to an iPod; the display indicates it is recharging.

The man pauses from his typing and looks around with tired eyes.

The house is neat, smells clean, but there’s also an additional scent that overlays the freshness of a pristine house.

The scent of expensive perfume.

It’s been five minutes since she closed the front door behind her, got in the car and drove away.

A girls’ night out.

A boy’s night in.

He sits, planning.

First a shower.

Then a shave – face and body.

Brush teeth.

Dry and comb hair.

And then the moment he is looking forward to.

To slide, illicitly – yet deliciously – in to bed.

To feel the crisp white sheet beneath him; the cool cotton duvet cover over his body.

He reflects that he could do anything he pleases.

There’s money and credit cards in his wallet, his car stands outside with a full tank of fuel.

His boundaries are limitless, he could spread his wings and travel far and wide.

But tonight he is content with an early night.

And a mug of hot chocolate, a large glass of squash – and a DVD of pulp.

Tonight this is his Heaven.

He hopes that when she comes in she doesn’t wake him.

But he’s already looking forward to the cool press of her naked body against his.


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5 Responses to Saturday night in the house of big fun

  1. Mya says:

    Don’t forget to put the cat out. And did Soph remember to take her keys? And don’t give me that’I hope she doesn’t wake me’ bollocks. You won’t be able to relax until she’s home.

    Things chez nous are about as lively. The highlight tonight will be watching a freebie DVD of Kingdom. We watched episode one the other night, so we know what we’re in for. Unfortunately. But compared to the French fare on offer, it’s bloody genius. Sad really.

    Mya x

  2. Brennig says:

    We’ve seen The Kingdom (American film based in Saudi). It’s not bad hokum. Not sure it’s the same Kingdom that you’re on about though. 🙂

    However last night the entire output of British television (and I’m including all 32 Freeview channels) was absolute pants.

    Even Alien Vs Predator 2 had a few highlights – a few more than my digibox could deliver.

    I left the outside light on for Soph, left her bedside light on for her and tried not to invade her side of the bed and generally acted as if I had some manners.

    And then fell asleep during the DVD. 🙂

    I’m told that Soph slid in to bed about 03.30!

  3. Gumpher says:

    The delights of the beloved going out on the razz.

    Home alone, eating curry and crisps. Farting and ball scratching without being told off whilst watching ESPN sports classics.


  4. Trixie says:

    Sounds like heaven, I could do with one of those nights myself!

  5. Brennig says:

    Trixie: The going out with the girls side of the night, or the staying in and flying solo sort of night? 🙂