It’s a little like a Stephen King storyline.
There’s something stirring in the house in south London. Something dark. Something mysterious. Something unnamed and malevolent. Something bad.
For there has been much badness in this house this evening, my droogies.
The first piece of badness was the demon-possessed measuring of ingredients for my tea.
Because the finished product was massive.
At least as big as K2 – if not slightly ‘massier’ around the middle.
And, with the main course safely – if belt-looseningly – dealt with…
There was the desert.
700g of fresh fruit salad.
Melon (many varieties), grapes (ditto), pineapple, strawberries, kiwi, mango, pomegranate (yes, really!) and something else.
700g of it.
No, just 700g, not 700g plus 700g because that would be 1,400g (or 1.4Kg if you prefer) and I’m not sure that even I could deal with gluttony on such a scale!
Anyway now I am in bed.
Eyeing up the bottle of Chocolate Fudge Brownie-flavoured Frijj milkshake, sitting on my bedside table.
Right next to two Caramel bars.
See what I mean?
Much badness in the house this evening.
Because there’s no way I would ordinarily consume such quantities.
Oh no, not I.
But I’m looking forward to the Stephen King book of the real-life experience.
I just hope I can stomach it (bwahahaha!).