A text rolls in.
‘Billy Crystal has your bottom. Yours is nicer tho, obv’
I mean… What?
If he’s got my bottom how can mine be nicer? And also…
Precisely which version of ‘When Harry Met Sally’ is Soph watching where she gets to ogle Billy Crystal’s bottom? Because I’ve seen that film and I can’t remember seeing his bottom and thinking ‘That’s mine!’ (in a non I-would-quite-like-to-roger-that-bum kind of way), obv. Is she watching a Director’s Cut (Scandinavian Version) which has previously escaped my notice?
But aside from these vexing points, I’m not naive.
I know when I’m being buttered up. It’s when the butter pools between ones legs and squidges down between ones toes, natch.