Today’s lesson comes from the book of Alk-oHol

And so it came to pass that He had drunk much, for with His colleagues didst He go out in to the wilderness being Victoria SW1 on a social evening.

And yea, there was much socialising in the evening and it was good.

And texting too.

And mirth.

And after a couple of hours He and His colleagues did see off Lisa for she may be a proper lightweight.

And later He did see off Peter, yet He stayed behind in the pub.

Yet He was ere joined at his table by two Canadian girls off of erm Canada and Lo didst they chat Him up muchly and flirt with Him well, and He may have flirted back at them too.

And He didst do that thing where He got his laptop out and showed them photographs of His horse and they didst say Awww and make other noises of appreciation and yet the fairer of the two didst stroke His leg and He didst get embarrassed.

And more alcohol was drunk.

And the flirting became serious and He was sorely tempted to succumb to their charms but He considered His options and didst seek counsel from His conscience and His conscience told Him to behave.

And so He made His excuses and He didst pick up His things and leave those two Canadian birds in the pub but as He stood up He saw He was being mightily examined in His fore and aft and He was much pleased.

And so things became blurred in His mind.

Yet it came to pass many hours later after a journey that encompassed the South Coast, the East Coast, the West Coast and probably the North Coast too, didst He arrive home.

And then a miracle did occur, for in His hands were His belongings yet also two pints of milk for the Shreddies and a portion of chips for the vinegar.

Upon entering the house He did eat until He could eat no more and then He felt unwell. He did swear that the unwellness was related to something in the chips and nothing to do with the quantities He had eaten neither the alcohol He had consumed.

And He didst decide to go to bed and His head didst advise this was a wise thing to do.

B.

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6 Responses to Today’s lesson comes from the book of Alk-oHol

  1. Trixie says:

    Hmmm… maybe I should listen to this post and go to bed, fuelled on al co hol but insted, you’ve got me pining for ships… Imean chips!

  2. Masher says:

    Good one. Got my Friday off to a smile. Thanks.

    “And lo, with His head still ringing from the night before, did He reach for the most holy Paracetamol…”

  3. Brennig says:

    Trixie: What time did you comment??? Don’t you have a bed to go to? I mean for sleeping purposes, natch!

    Masher: I bathed in the Holy Water of PowerShowerdom. Does the trick for me every time. 🙂

  4. Harry says:

    There’s something very comforting about a drink on the way home. What are the establishments around Victria like B?

    If memory serves me right St James Park is nearby. And that sounds particularly civilised. But yes the real trick is to avoid falling asleep on the train. I once woke up in the back of beyond in a place called ‘Bat and Ball’. Quite unnerving really, didn’t have a clue where I was and not a Hackney cab in sight. All felt very surreal but in true homing pigeon style I somehow got home.

  5. Perpetual says:

    It’s always the chips, always the chips that cause any illness!

  6. Brennig says:

    And there Mr Perpetual (Hi!) has come sooo close to hitting the nail on the head. Whenever I’m not good the morning after the night before, it’s usually the fault of the food. Oh yes.

    Harry (Hi to you too), There’s a couple of the usual ‘GastroPubChain’ things in the neck of town I’m currently working (which is close enough to St James’ Park to enable me to hear the Cavalry horses as they chunter back to their barracks after a hard day tourist bashing). But fortunately there’s a couple of really nice pubs, the real sort.

    And… Bat and Ball? I know that place! But the best ‘falling asleep on the way home’ anecdote I know is a former colleague who (after a full strength night out) flagged down a cab and bribed the driver with a massive amount of money to take him to Rainham and promptly fell asleep in the back. Only to wake up and find himself in Rainham, Kent – not Rainham, Essex. 🙂