(I am writing this post on my phone, so I’m a slave to autocorrect. Any errors are purely unintentional)
Pupper and I do walkies.
We do big walking in the big big big open spaces.
And we do them off-lead, because pupper is a good girl, doing very well at pupper training classes, and is never more than 3m in front of me or 3m behind.
Pupper and I love our walkies.
What we don’t love so much are some of the people we meet on our walkies.
But not all of them, because some of them are lovely.
Like Sue, for example, who runs our pupper training classes.
Sue always stops for a chat, even though she’s wrangling three grown-up dogs of her own.
She says nice things like ‘I wouldn’t have believed this was the same puppy you had in class last week.’
At least I think that’s meant in a nice way.
But then there are the other people.
Some of them are real counts.
They can be rude. They can be obnoxious. And they can always be total counts.
This morning (it was 6am when the pupper and I encountered her, so perhaps she’s always a really grumpy teat with a face like a slapped arsenal) we turned a corner in the field and encountered one such count.
She said, ‘Don’t pick him up, you’re only teaching him to be frightened of other dogs.’
What a duck.
The reason I picked HER up was because the grumpy old teat had no control over her own off-lead dog, that was tracking pupper like a Rapier missile rangefinder.
If I wanted the pupper to socialise (which she does very well, with the other puppers, at pupper training class, I would have said ‘By jove, you’re right. I should just let your out of control dog do what it wants with our three-month old pupper. You are indeed a wise and wonderful woman!’
Except she certainly wasn’t wise, obvs.
But why would she even think that me protecting the pupper from a dog I hadn’t seen before, an off-lead dog, and an off-lead dog that was ignoring every single voice command from the woman, would be a bad thing?
Bad for whom?
Bad for the pupper? (if so, please explain in no less than 550 words and give an example of howso)
Then there was the other fat old count, a few days ago, who had an off-lead dog called Tess.
Tess was an expert at ignoring voice commands.
The fat old count’s ‘Oh leave it alone Tess’ (where ‘it’ is our pupper, who was the target of Tess, bearing down on her like a locked-on Exocet missile) was studiously ignored.
Until I stepped between Tess and the pupper.
At that point the fat old count said ‘Come on Tess’.
Tess decided, at that point, that continuing with the person she ignored rather than duke it out with me was the better of the two options.
So far these are the only two examples of stupid teats, but both of them managed to take stupidity to a whole new level of countiness.
What a pair of duckheads