Here’s a thing, the 1999 hit Drinkin’ in LA‘ by the never seen again group Bran Van 3000 contained these words: arse and butt-kiss.
When Radio 1 plays the song (as it has been playing a cover version of the song as part of Radio 1’s forthcoming birthday celebrations) these words aren’t faded or bleeped out.
We get them.
Yet when Radio 1 plays any single by Eminem or Dr Dre with the same words…
Yep, they are faded or bleeped out.
Why’s that then?
Is someone at the BBC being censorious?
As mentioned, Radio 1’s 40th birthday is up and coming and as part of the celebration HardFi have covered Britney Spears Toxic‘.
You’d have thought it would be rubbish, huh?
A crappy group and a rubbish song previously sung by a relatively mediocre female vocalist with an over-inflated sense of self-importance?
Yeah, bound to be a terrible song.
They’ve put together an excellently rocky guitar part and brilliant drums. Sadly the vocals are slightly weak and ropey but HardFi still managed to turn a mediocre song in to something worth listening to.
Which brings me to something totally not worth listening to:
Sean Kingston and Beautiful Girl‘, a record I can only describe as part rap, part rubbish so we’re going to call it Craporama!
I was tempted to do a full lyric analysis but instead here’s an overview:
You got me suicidal
when you say
What do these lyrics say about the mental state of the author?
How about the verse that goes:
It was back in ’99 watching movies all the time when I went away for doing my first crime.’
Fantastic, but it doesn’t end there, oh no!
And then when I came out they moved me down south’
They presumably meaning the legal/justice system?
What can this first crime have been to get a custodial sentence?
How about stalking the beautiful girl? Think this is why it isn’t going to work, maybe?
It could be.
So let’s look at those lyrics we have Sean Kingston getting dumped by his beautiful girl and then he’s feeling suicidal.
He spends his day watching movies and he stalks the girl who dumped him to the point where he becomes a psycho stalker and he gets locked up.
When he gets released it’s on condition that he has to live in a different part of the country.
And people are buying this complete and utter crap?
As if that’s not bad enough here’s another rant…
Oh c’mon radio people!
If I wanted to listen to ELO’s Mr Blue Sky‘ (but I don’t, OK?) I’d get it out of the collection; I wouldn’t spend money on a very poor cover version Goodbye Mr A‘ by the startlingly unoriginal The Hoosiers.
Who are they trying to kid?
And who are BBC Radio 1 and Radio 2 trying to kid by playing this pap?
While I’m in full rant mode…
Here are some more brilliant lyrics this time from the chorus of a song by Reverend and The Makers that’s getting a lot of Radio 1 airplay…
E said e loves me
E said e needs me
E said to Keeley
E finks I’m special.
E didn’t love me
E didn’t need me
Got off wiv Keeley
She finks she’s special.
If these words aren’t the epitome of our age I don’t know what is. We have here the ultimate anthem of chavdom.
Be afraid people, be very afraid.