{"id":11698,"date":"2016-09-29T20:08:56","date_gmt":"2016-09-29T19:08:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/?p=11698"},"modified":"2016-09-29T20:11:02","modified_gmt":"2016-09-29T19:11:02","slug":"heart-attack-diary-6","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/?p=11698","title":{"rendered":"Heart Attack Diary: #6"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2>*settles down for a quiet evening*<\/h2>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>A large pyrex baking dish is dropped on the stone tile kitchen floor. The noise of impact was heard in three counties<\/li>\n<li>7yo projectile vomits an impressive amount of liquid around the lounge<\/li>\n<li>The (hellishly loud) garage burglar alarm goes off. I run through the house and open the garage door to find one of the #RescueKitties sitting between the ZX10 and the 250N, looking very puzzled<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>All of these things in the space of 20 minutes.<\/p>\n<p>Look.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ll say this just the once.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;VE HAD A FUCKING HEART ATTACK, YEAH?<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;M SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING A SHEDLOAD OF PIECE AND QUIET.<\/p>\n<p>CAN WE PLEASE RETURN TO PEACE, QUIET, AND A STRESS-FREE EXISTENCE?<\/p>\n<p>Thank you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>*settles down for a quiet evening* &nbsp; A large pyrex baking dish is dropped on the stone tile kitchen floor. The noise of impact was<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11698","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stuff","two-columns"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11698","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/13"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=11698"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11698\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=11698"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=11698"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=11698"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}