{"id":1675,"date":"2009-06-03T20:03:40","date_gmt":"2009-06-03T19:03:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/?p=1675"},"modified":"2009-06-03T20:47:49","modified_gmt":"2009-06-03T19:47:49","slug":"the-hardest-part-of-this-is-leaving-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/?p=1675","title":{"rendered":"The Hardest Part of This is Leaving You"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The annoying little <span style=\"text-decoration: line-through;\">bastard<\/span> boy in the seat behind wants to die.<\/p>\n<p>Not a big deal as things go.<\/p>\n<p>I believe we should all have the right to decide when and where we go and if he, at the ripe old age of, ummm, three, has come to the undoubtedly <em>correct <\/em>decision that his life is so unbearably futile that he&#8217;s going to end it by topping himself on this particular Oxford Tube by spinning wildly out of control down the aisle of the bus to smash in to the panelling at the end every time the driver touches the brakes, then that is his right.<\/p>\n<p>However.<\/p>\n<p>His mother, who is sitting on the opposite side of the aisle to him is clearly culpable in the act of his demise and that, I believe, makes her guilty of some offence or other.<\/p>\n<p>Look people, the rules are simple &#8211; and were announced by the same, tired old announcement that this service makes every single day, and they were announced over the PA not fifteen of your earth-minutes ago.<\/p>\n<p><em>Put your fucking seat belt on. It is the fucking law you idiot fucking imbecile child from hell.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Ah but no, my friends, this one knows better.<\/p>\n<p>Seatbeltless, he rattles around in his chair and in the aisle as he passes a word-puzzle magazine to his <span style=\"text-decoration: line-through;\">equally mentally defective<\/span> grandmother in front of him &#8211; she is sitting next to me.<\/p>\n<p>Yes, the child&#8217;s mother and his grandmother clearly want the little <span style=\"text-decoration: line-through;\">spawn of Satan<\/span> darling to die.<\/p>\n<p>Isn&#8217;t that murder?<\/p>\n<p>Look dears, why don&#8217;t you just fasten the seatbelt around the obnoxious little bastard&#8217;s <span style=\"text-decoration: line-through;\">throat<\/span> waist and then granny can just face forward instead of spinning around in her seat like some kind of a bad extra from The Exorcist.<\/p>\n<p>And then I can have some peace and quiet and stop bothering these lovely people on the internet with my bad language.<\/p>\n<p>Thank you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The annoying little bastard boy in the seat behind wants to die. Not a big deal as things go. I believe we should all have<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1675","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stuff","two-columns"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1675","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/13"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1675"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1675\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1675"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1675"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1675"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}