This just in…<\/p>\n
William Shakespeare is dead.<\/p>\n
It’s official.<\/p>\n
William Shakespeare died on the evening of Monday 3rd September 2007.<\/p>\n
Died near Dalton-in-Furness, south Cumbria.<\/p>\n
As if these statements aren’t bizarre enough, here’s some more to go with them \u00e2\u20ac\u201c and hold on to your hats kids because they’re all related!<\/em><\/p>\n As you may have guessed by now, the William Shakespeare in question was not the William Shakespeare (butt of many Bard and ‘you’re barred’ jokes).<\/p>\n This William Shakespeare was… (wait for it)… a water buffalo.<\/p>\n Oh yes my friends, a water buffalo.<\/p>\n And as if that’s not weird enough.<\/p>\n William Shakespeare lived (and died) in the well-known hang-out of water buffalos – south Cumbria.<\/p>\n For those looking in to this blog who may be unfamiliar with either the natural habitat of the genus ‘water buffalo’ or the locale ‘south Cumbria’ I should explain that ‘south Cumbria’ is to ‘water buffalo’ what ‘water buffalo’ is to skydiving.<\/em><\/p>\n Apparently William Shakespeare (the water buffalo) was a privately-owned animal that had escaped from his pasture.<\/p>\n When I say ‘escaped’ I mean ‘meandered on to the busy road known as the A590’.<\/p>\n Where, as he strolled about – no doubt thinking complicated water buffaloesque thoughts – he was brutally mown down.<\/p>\n By a Nissan Micra.<\/p>\n Sadly (as previously stated) William’s condition was fatal.<\/p>\n I suspect the Nissan Micra’s future was terminated too.<\/p>\n The driver of the Micra was cut from his car by the Fire service before being removed to hospital where he was treated for injuries.<\/p>\n And who said life on this planet is boring?<\/p>\n