It is 09.02 Monday and I am at home.<\/p>\n
I have the day off because of a long-standing hospital appointment; nothing serious, the medical specialists just want to do tests to find out how I can veer so suddenly from nice guy to people-hating guy and not suffer whiplash in the quickness of the movement.<\/p>\n
I hadn’t planned to do anything special, apart from the hospital appointment, obv.<\/p>\n
Maybe watch a little ChavTV (aka Jeremy Kyle), finish the book I’m reading (which has made me want to visit Kaliningrad far too much), snooze, ride Vin; just generally relax.<\/p>\n
[checks TV listings to find out what time ChavTV starts. 09.25 if you’re interested]<\/p>\n
‘Days off’ don’t come around here too often; the down-side of being self-employed is no paid annual leave, no paid sick leave.<\/p>\n
But I love the irony that I’ve been awake since 02.00 because… wait for it… I’m not feeling well.<\/p>\n
Brilliant.<\/p>\n
A sick day and a day’s leave all wrapped up in one feverish 24-hour block.<\/p>\n
Wonderful.<\/p>\n
I have throat glands the size of pomegranates.<\/p>\n
No, really.<\/p>\n
Anyway this gives me an unusual opportunity to sit and pontificate<\/span> observe the world from a slightly grumpy (because I’m ill, right?) perspective.<\/p>\n What do you mean ‘so what’s unusual about that?’<\/p>\n Grrr…<\/p>\n First up today is Spotify.<\/p>\n Spotify, in case you’ve been living in a cave since the internet was developed, is (and I quote from their own website) ‘… a new way to enjoy music<\/em>.’<\/p>\n Really?<\/p>\n Instead of using our ears, you mean?<\/p>\n But no! As we read on we learn that there is no need to throw away our ears just yet because all we have to do is ‘Simply download and install, before you know it you’ll be singing along to the genre, artist or song of your choice<\/em>.’<\/p>\n Hmmm… I hate to break it to the Spotify guys and girls but that’s pretty much what I do that now.<\/p>\n So the newness in this situation is where?<\/p>\n Let’s read some more because maybe I’m missing the point, ‘With Spotify you are never far away from the song you want<\/em>.’<\/p>\n Riiiight.<\/p>\n Still not seeing the ‘newness’ thing here.<\/p>\n ‘There are no restrictions in terms of what you can listen to or when<\/em>.’<\/p>\n Well look, I don’t want to be funny or appear as though I’m some horrible grump but there are loads ‘ LOADS ‘ of restrictions in terms of what people can listen to or when.<\/p>\n Shall I explain?<\/p>\n Two words: Corporate Firewalls.<\/p>\n I know of three London-based organisations that between them employ something like 38,000 staff and none of the boys and girls employed by these folks can get Spotify at work.<\/p>\n So far, Mr & Mrs Spotify, I’m completely unimpressed with everything your son (or is it daughter?) is telling us, so let’s see what else he (or she) is trying to palm us off with.<\/p>\n ‘Forget about the hassle of waiting for files to download and fill up your hard drive before you get round to organising them. Spotify is instant, fun and simple<\/em>.’<\/p>\n Right, so it’s a web-side\/server-side music\/file-sharing service, therefore it’s completely bandwidth reliant too, yes?<\/p>\n How strange of Spotify not to tell prospective customers about this one, this potentially crippling piece of information.<\/p>\n But the real put-off point about Spotify is the price: \u00a3119.88\/year (because why would you suffer your bandwidth being eaten up with the free but advert-cluttered version?).<\/p>\n Do you know how many tracks I can legally download for what is after all a fraction under \u00c2\u00a3120 a year ‘ and own those tracks at the end of it, hold them in my sweaty little palms and index and re-index them in my Music Library like the slightly compulsive Rob Gordon character in High Fidelity?<\/p>\n Way more – I’ll say it again – way more<\/em> than I would ever get to own with Spotify.<\/p>\n So there you are Spotify folks, I’ve called you out.<\/p>\n Are you up to the challenge of taking on this sick, feverish guy?<\/p>\n Nah, I didn’t think you were.<\/p>\n But before I go I’ll let the BBC’s technology correspondent give you his take on the Spotify movement so you too, my friend, can judge whether or not Rory is living the lie of Emperor Spotify’s New Clothes:<\/p>\n Rory (bless) says: Umm, Rory, have you even heard of playlists on mp3 players?<\/p>\n OMG Rory, mp3 players!<\/p>\n Did you forget that whole branch of technology when you were drinking so deeply from the Spotify pool?<\/p>\n
\nBeing able to download a playlist to your phone over your own network before you go out, then listen to it despite poor or non-existent network coverage is a real bonus<\/em><\/p>\n