We’re in the departure lounge at South Terminal, it’s such a familiar place that I have my favourite seat at Costa.<\/p>\n
I am sad, it’s official.<\/p>\n
If Valerie Russell doesn’t get a move on her luggage will be offloaded and she’ll miss her flight.<\/p>\n
There’s a guy over there who LOVES the sound of his own voice; everyone within 5 nautical miles can hear him. He’s not a passenger, he’s a plasterer working on refitting a shop in here.<\/p>\n
He sounds like a caricature of a Sarf Lundun wideboy – just think of how Harry Enfield might translate his Loadsamoney creation to a middle-aged, crop-haired shouty-while-talking loudmouth and you’ve got the general idea.<\/p>\n
In the security queue in front of us was a late 20s guy who got hauled out because he had a tin\/container in his clear plastic bag that was obviously hugely over the 125ml limit.<\/p>\n
Think: large tin of toffee and you’ve got the general idea. And in the tin was…<\/p>\n
Hair gel.<\/p>\n
Because a chap with short hair (not much longer than military length) needs a vat of hair gel – on the flight.<\/p>\n
I said to Soph ‘Good job he’d packed his KY’.<\/p>\n
It is possible that I said that a little too loudly and Soph may have hit me.<\/p>\n
Oh-oh, Valerie Russell’s boat has metaphorically sailed, they’ve just announced that her luggage has been removed from the flight.<\/p>\n
Perhaps she’s in the toilet having a massive poo, poor girl.<\/p>\n
Soph’s disappeared. I looked up from cleaning out my wallet (I don’t know how I got diverted in to that one either!) and she’d vanished.<\/p>\n
Perhaps she’s gone for a poo too. Or maybe she’s gone to find Valerie Russell.<\/p>\n
In other news…<\/p>\n
The Prospective New Horse is being vetted tomorrow morning.<\/p>\n
I’m trying to stay calm and not get too excited about him, if the vet says ‘no’ then it’s not going to happen.<\/p>\n
The prospect of having an extra mouth to feed has woken me up, I’ve started putting feelers out to see who might be interested in paying me to do something.<\/p>\n
Initial response: fair, but I need to convert interest in to a piece of work. I’m trying to stay focussed on a commuting circle with ‘home’ in the middle which might limit my choices.<\/p>\n
There is a guy sitting behind me whose mullet is so regal the length of hair down the back of his neck is actually fashioned in to a scale model of the train of Princess Diana’s wedding dress, whilst the hair on top of his head resembles a field of corn stubble, the hair on the sides of his head is shaved right to the scalp.<\/p>\n
It’s an amazing effect, the stylist\/sculpturist\u00c2\u00a0 responsible for creating this piece of art noveau<\/em> should get an award – for services to the comedy industry.<\/p>\n I can’t help wondering what nationality the mullet-wearer is; if he were a Brit he’d have the Mick taken out of him so much that even the thickest of skins would have died of shame by now.<\/p>\n He obviously belongs to a nationality that doesn’t know the meaning of the words ‘shame’ or ’embarrassment’ when coupled up with the concept of hairstyle or personal grooming.<\/p>\n I don’t wish to foster any nationalistic stereotypes here, but I’m leaning towards German. Or maybe Australian?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" We’re in the departure lounge at South Terminal, it’s such a familiar place that I have my favourite seat at Costa. I am sad, it’s<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2044","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stuff","two-columns"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2044","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/13"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2044"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2044\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2044"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2044"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2044"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}