{"id":247,"date":"2007-10-12T21:25:50","date_gmt":"2007-10-12T20:25:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/?p=247"},"modified":"2012-05-03T10:56:23","modified_gmt":"2012-05-03T09:56:23","slug":"the-ghost-of-christmas-presents","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/?p=247","title":{"rendered":"The ghost of Christmas presents"},"content":{"rendered":"

No, this isn’t a Christmas post, I know<\/em> it’s only October.<\/p>\n

It’s a post about random gifts that just happen to have been given at Christmas, OK?<\/p>\n

Anyway.<\/p>\n

Some people have the talent to select the most wonderful gifts; gifts that make the receiver – and the giver – glow with joy for hours afterwards.<\/p>\n

Other people have the talent to select the most odd – bordering on unsuitable – gifts.<\/p>\n

Both sets of people probably take the same amount of time to choose these things; neither action is undertaken in haste.<\/p>\n

It’s the choosing that’s at fault, not the time allocated.<\/p>\n

For example, last year one of the Christmas gifts I bought Daughter was a bag of ‘Fairy Poo’.<\/p>\n

It wasn’t really Fairy Poo, just a bag of yoghurt-coated raisins packaged up as Fairy Poo.<\/p>\n

And (pardon the expression) Daughter told me they went down really well and that she loved them.<\/p>\n

I understand that her mother didn’t – didn’t like the concept rather than the flavour – but one can’t please all of the people all of the time.<\/p>\n

That wasn’t a peculiar<\/em> present; it was an example of off-the-wall thinking – a brilliant gift for a young mind (coupled with everything else she got!).<\/p>\n

But that’s the children end of the market.<\/p>\n

Over on the adult side of things it all looks pretty dire.<\/p>\n

The annual parcel from dotty Aunt Dotty that contains the full range of crocheted underwear for all the family is one thing.<\/p>\n

Just smile and put them away on top of the wardrobe until the end of time.<\/p>\n

But what about the other things?<\/p>\n

The things that go beyond tasteless?<\/p>\n

In a Christmas past we’ve been given an Anne Summers kinky sex kit.<\/p>\n

WTF?<\/p>\n

Are we supposed to dress up in vaguely medical, PVC clothing and cavort about with a fake stethoscope whilst playing rude games, pausing only to think fondly of the people who gave us the gift?<\/p>\n

Was it given on a kind of ‘think of me whenever you use this’ basis?<\/p>\n

If so\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

Eeeew!<\/p>\n

I really don’t want their image in my head during such moments of intimacy.<\/p>\n

Not, he hastened to add, that we would be so inclined to use sex aids in this manner.<\/p>\n

Or use this manner of sex aid.<\/p>\n

Or something.<\/p>\n

B<\/strong><\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

No, this isn’t a Christmas post, I know it’s only October. It’s a post about random gifts that just happen to have been given at<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-247","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stuff","two-columns"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/247","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/13"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=247"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/247\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=247"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=247"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=247"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}