{"id":263,"date":"2007-10-25T13:27:45","date_gmt":"2007-10-25T12:27:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/?p=263"},"modified":"2022-03-30T16:50:19","modified_gmt":"2022-03-30T15:50:19","slug":"christmas-is-coming-the-geese-are-getting-geriatric","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/?p=263","title":{"rendered":"Christmas is coming, the geese are getting geriatric"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>There is a garden centre <em>(aha, gotcha! You didn&#8217;t see this one coming did you?)<\/em> on the outskirts of Droitwich that tells everyone &#8211; via an enormous banner &#8211; that it is the Garden Centre of the Year 2008.<\/p>\n<p><em>As voted for by the elderly residents of Droitwich, probably.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Anyway, this garden centre.<\/p>\n<p>They&#8217;ve got their Christmas lights up.<\/p>\n<p>Yeah, honest!<\/p>\n<p>And&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>They hav\u00a0a 50x larger-than-life wickerwork reindeer standing just behind their boundary fence.<\/p>\n<p>Hmm&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Let me just check the calendar a minute.<\/p>\n<p><em>goes off to look for a calendar before remembering he could always use Groupwise<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Yep, I was right.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s the twenty-melon-farming-fifth of chicken-sucking October.<\/p>\n<p>Or in other words.<\/p>\n<p>It isn&#8217;t even November yet.<\/p>\n<p>The God of Mammon must be thrilled to bits to see the cash tills at the temple of Avarice ringing away to the cheesy background of The Pogues&#8217; Fairty Tale of New York so early in the year.<\/p>\n<p>I am going to hold a one-man protest at this blatant attempt to consumerise our lives to even further depths.<\/p>\n<p>I am not going to patronise this garden centre with my hard-earned dosh.<\/p>\n<p>Oh no.<\/p>\n<p>Not one penny shall I spend there, in honour of their bad taste attempt to bring Christmas ever-forward in to the larger part of the year.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There is a garden centre (aha, gotcha! You didn&#8217;t see this one coming did you?) on the outskirts of Droitwich that tells everyone &#8211; via<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-263","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stuff","two-columns"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/263","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/13"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=263"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/263\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=263"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=263"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=263"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}