Go on – say ‘thank you’ nicely.<\/p>\n
You owe me a massive debt of gratitude.<\/p>\n
I have saved you from death by a combination of factors.<\/p>\n
Death by boredom. Death by introspection. Death by… feeling sorry for myself.<\/p>\n
Oh yes.<\/p>\n
You’ve got off lightly, my friend. Very lightly.<\/p>\n
Not even the Sensational Alex Harvey Band’s brilliant comedic rendition of Delilah<\/em> could make me smile last night.<\/p>\n Face it, when SAHB can’t get one smiling things are in a terrible state!<\/p>\n Where was I?<\/p>\n Oh yes, saving you from death by misery.<\/p>\n On the way home last night I dictated the world’s most miserable blog. It made the entire Smith’s back catalogue seem cheery.<\/p>\n This morning I’ve had it transcribed, briefly scanned it and pressed the delete key because Oh My God It Was Absolutely Fcuking Awful!<\/p>\n So instead of that rubbish, here’s some random bits of informative, erm, information.<\/p>\n 1. It was this time last year that the lovely s took me to see Muse at the NEC – and the first song on my iPod this morning was ‘Together We’re Invincible’ by Muse!<\/p>\n 2. This morning I passed an articulated tanker lorry that had a label on the back that stated ‘non-hazardous load’.<\/p>\n Well excuse me for thinking otherwise but I consider 25,000 litres of fluid travelling at 56mph is pretty hazardous!<\/p>\n The thought of 25,000 litres of fluid hitting a car or a pedestrian at 56mph seems pretty hazardous to me!<\/p>\n 3. A little while later I passed a fully laden articulated car transporter; it was stacked with brand new, unregistered Audis.<\/p>\n Did you know that occasionally – but not often – car transporters sometimes lose a car off their load?<\/p>\n And did you know that if you find one – in a field, at the side of the road or wherever – you are entitled to keep it, regardless of the make, model, expense or condition that it’s in with no need to make any form of payment?<\/p>\n This dates back to our centuries-old salvage laws – I know someone who got a brand new unregistered Porsche 4×4 like that, it only needed a minor paint touch-up because it had landed on all four wheels.<\/p>\n True!<\/p>\n Honest!<\/p>\n B<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Go on – say ‘thank you’ nicely. You owe me a massive debt of gratitude. I have saved you from death by a combination of<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-265","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stuff","two-columns"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/265","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/13"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=265"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/265\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=265"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=265"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=265"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}