I nipped in to Sainsbury in Witney this afternoon, to do a little food shopping:<\/p>\n
That was one basket – which was just as well, because that’s what I was carrying the shopping in!<\/p>\n
Almost all of the checkout queues were long, but the line at the ‘Baskets Only’ register was only three people deep.<\/p>\n
I took my place in the line.<\/p>\n
The old lady who came in to the line behind me hit me with her shopping trolley.<\/p>\n
I glared at her, checked the sign hanging above the cash register that said ‘Baskets Only’, glared at her again and took a half-pace forward.<\/p>\n
She moved forward a half pace and hit me with her trolley again.<\/p>\n
I said ‘What the fucking hell do you think you’re playing at, you stupid old cow? And can’t you read?’<\/span><\/p>\n I couldn’t move any further forward, I moved slightly sideways instead.<\/p>\n She pushed the trolley forward and would have hit me with it again but I put my hand on it and pushed it back at her.<\/p>\n She backed off.<\/p>\n While she was giving me the cold and frosty eyes, I pointedly looked at the ‘Baskets Only’ sign, then looked down at her chosen weapon.<\/p>\n It was lost on her.<\/p>\n After a few minutes I moved forward, put my basket on the ledge and began unpacking what was in it, moving the shopping on to the conveyor belt.<\/p>\n And she hit me with her trolley again.<\/p>\n I picked up the tin of potatoes, half-turned and hurled them straight at her head. She fell to the floor with a dull ‘thud’, sounding just like a large melon hitting the tiles.<\/span><\/p>\n Fortunately I was able to move forwards again, and wait for my shopping as it was scanned.<\/p>\n I packed the shopping and paid for it.<\/p>\n R – e – a – l – l – y – r – e – a – l – l – y – s – l – o – w – l – y.<\/p>\n She was giving me the frosty glare.<\/p>\n I actually laughed at her.<\/p>\n But that’s relatively harmless, right?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I nipped in to Sainsbury in Witney this afternoon, to do a little food shopping: Pringles (prawn cocktail) Cereal Baking potatoes Tinned potatoes Vegetables Chocolate<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3892","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stuff","two-columns"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3892","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/13"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3892"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3892\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3892"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3892"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3892"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}