It is mid-morning Sunday and The Lovely S and I are in bed.<\/p>\n
She is watching Hollyoaks and I’m doing internetty things.<\/p>\n
The debris of breakfast is scattered on the floor.<\/p>\n
I’ve done my usual internetty things: checked my bloglines, checked my email, checked my blog comments, read BBC News, read my favourite tabloid (The Daily Mail online).<\/p>\n
But propped up here in bed, the sounds and sights of Hollyoaks intrude in my zone of concentration.<\/p>\n
And questions get asked.<\/p>\n
Who are they and why are they in someone else’s bed having sex?<\/p>\n
And who are those two guys and why are they snogging?<\/p>\n
And why is nerdy-looking-geeky-boy trying to find his father (who plainly is nerdy-looking-geeky-man from Last of the Summer Wine).<\/p>\n
And why are Goth boy and girl being so mean to him?<\/p>\n
And who has just sent me a text?<\/p>\n
And why is nerdy-looking-geeky-boy calling that tree ‘Dad’?<\/p>\n
Ah, respite.<\/p>\n
The adverts appear and so does the final Bamboozle question.<\/p>\n
I’ve answered a few.<\/p>\n
I need a poo.<\/p>\n
Ah, the text is from little Karen, apparently – despite the snow! – we might still be on for cross country schooling this afternoon (though I feel very uncertain about it right now).<\/p>\n
Anyway, back to Hollyoaks.<\/p>\n
So, that teacher has had sex with his (female) student who he’s just cut short in front of someone (probably his girlfriend) and introduced her as ‘a friend of a student who’s having a few problems’?<\/p>\n
Really?<\/p>\n
Is this the very best plot writing available to the British television media these days?<\/p>\n
Christ, how mediocre.<\/p>\n
Are the writers timid or do they just rehash storylines that were first aired 40 years ago?<\/p>\n
Are there no new storylines?<\/p>\n
Or are the writers so young themselves that they are unadventurous and lacking the initiative to look outside of the box?<\/p>\n
And that guy… the priest. How old is he?<\/p>\n
Looks about 12.<\/p>\n
The blonde guy with the faux Belfast accent – shocking, absolutely the worst accent since I started doing Geordie when I was 16.<\/p>\n
Anyway, enough from the television.<\/p>\n
The poo calls (but not literally, OK?).<\/p>\n
And I need a shower and a shave and I’m going to have to leave in about an hour to check out the cross country course before making a decision on ‘go’ or ‘no go’.<\/p>\n
So I’ll see you later, OK?<\/p>\n
Keep ’em peeled!<\/p>\n
\ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
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