{"id":5162,"date":"2011-06-06T17:42:21","date_gmt":"2011-06-06T16:42:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/?p=5162"},"modified":"2011-06-06T19:04:04","modified_gmt":"2011-06-06T18:04:04","slug":"stupid-surveys-written-by-stupid-people","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/?p=5162","title":{"rendered":"Stupid surveys written by stupid people"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I do surveys.<\/p>\n<p>The latest landed in my inbox today, and question 11 is a prime example of a survey written by a seven-year old.<\/p>\n<p>So I wrote to the survey company:<\/p>\n<div>&#8216;I am working my way through survey [number], which has quite clearly been constructed by a dunce.<\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div>A number of the questions are almost incomprehensibly thick, but question 11 is worthy of an Olympic gold medal in the stupidity stakes:<\/div>\n<div>&#8217;11. How close is your nearest natural place to play outdoors?&#8217;<\/div>\n<div>1. 30 miles<\/div>\n<div>2. 1 hour<\/div>\n<div>3. 2 hours<\/div>\n<div>4. 3 hours<\/div>\n<div>5. 4 hours&#8217;<\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>What is this utter gibberish?<\/p>\n<p>Even if I lived in the centre of New York I would have an open space less than 1\/2 a mile closer than the first option.<\/p>\n<p>If I lived in the centre of Madrid I would be surrounded by green open spaces in most piazzas. The same applies to the centre of Rome.<\/p>\n<p>So which place does this questioner live where their nearest open space is 30 miles &#8211; thirty bloody miles &#8211; away?<\/p>\n<p>I await your response with baited breath, because I want to make a note never to visit this place, wherever it is.&#8217;<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>edit&#8230;<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p>And there&#8217;s more from the fuckwits at this polling company.<\/p>\n<div>&#8216;4. How many times in the last year have you had a problem relating to your personal health or wellbeing (or that of any children you have) but done nothing about it?<\/div>\n<div>\n<div><input id=\"qe-116187-1\" name=\"qe-116187\" type=\"radio\" value=\"ch-885682\" \/> <label for=\"qe-116187-1\">1<\/label><\/div>\n<div><input id=\"qe-116187-2\" name=\"qe-116187\" type=\"radio\" value=\"ch-885683\" \/> <label for=\"qe-116187-2\">2<\/label><\/div>\n<div><input id=\"qe-116187-3\" name=\"qe-116187\" type=\"radio\" value=\"ch-885684\" \/> <label for=\"qe-116187-3\">3<\/label><\/div>\n<div><input id=\"qe-116187-4\" name=\"qe-116187\" type=\"radio\" value=\"ch-885685\" \/> <label for=\"qe-116187-4\">4<\/label><\/div>\n<div><input id=\"qe-116187-5\" name=\"qe-116187\" type=\"radio\" value=\"ch-885686\" \/> <label for=\"qe-116187-5\">5<\/label><\/div>\n<div><input id=\"qe-116187-6\" name=\"qe-116187\" type=\"radio\" value=\"ch-885687\" \/> <label for=\"qe-116187-6\">6<\/label><\/div>\n<div><input id=\"qe-116187-7\" name=\"qe-116187\" type=\"radio\" value=\"ch-885688\" \/> <label for=\"qe-116187-7\">7<\/label><\/div>\n<div><input id=\"qe-116187-8\" name=\"qe-116187\" type=\"radio\" value=\"ch-885689\" \/> <label for=\"qe-116187-8\">8<\/label><\/div>\n<div><input id=\"qe-116187-9\" name=\"qe-116187\" type=\"radio\" value=\"ch-885690\" \/> <label for=\"qe-116187-9\">9<\/label><\/div>\n<div><input id=\"qe-116187-10\" name=\"qe-116187\" type=\"radio\" value=\"ch-885691\" \/> <label for=\"qe-116187-10\">10+<\/label><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>Well, pardon me for being challenging, but where&#8217;s the &#8216;0&#8217;?<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>edit&#8230;<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p>And there&#8217;s even more stupidity from these retarded fuckwits:<\/p>\n<div>&#8217;23. Have you ever been put off visiting your doctors or seeking help\/advice from other healthcare professionals because of any of the following reasons? Select all that apply:<\/div>\n<p>Please tick all that apply.<\/p>\n<div>\n<div><input id=\"qe-116197-1\" name=\"qe-116197[]\" type=\"checkbox\" value=\"ch-885765\" \/> <label for=\"qe-116197-1\">Long waiting list<\/label><\/div>\n<div><input id=\"qe-116197-2\" name=\"qe-116197[]\" type=\"checkbox\" value=\"ch-885766\" \/> <label for=\"qe-116197-2\">Inflexibility of appointments<\/label><\/div>\n<div><input id=\"qe-116197-3\" name=\"qe-116197[]\" type=\"checkbox\" value=\"ch-885767\" \/> <label for=\"qe-116197-3\">Cleanliness of the place<\/label><\/div>\n<div><input id=\"qe-116197-4\" name=\"qe-116197[]\" type=\"checkbox\" value=\"ch-885768\" \/> <label for=\"qe-116197-4\">How helpful and polite the staff are<\/label><\/div>\n<div><input id=\"qe-116197-5\" name=\"qe-116197[]\" type=\"checkbox\" value=\"ch-885769\" \/> <label for=\"qe-116197-5\">Location<\/label><\/div>\n<div><input id=\"qe-116197-6\" name=\"qe-116197[]\" type=\"checkbox\" value=\"ch-885770\" \/> <label for=\"qe-116197-6\">Unclear who to see for specific problems<\/label><\/div>\n<div><input id=\"qe-116197-7\" name=\"qe-116197[]\" type=\"checkbox\" value=\"ch-885771\" \/> <label for=\"qe-116197-7\">Presumed \/ perceived inability to provide the kind of help required&#8217;<\/label><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>Can you spot the total absence of a &#8216;no&#8217;?<\/p>\n<p>So when I don&#8217;t select any of these and press the &#8216;next&#8217; button (the only way of saying &#8216;no&#8217; that the question gives me, I get a message that says:<\/p>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>&#8216;Please give an answer for this question&#8217;<\/strong><\/div>\n<\/p>\n<p>This is fucking stunning.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I do surveys. The latest landed in my inbox today, and question 11 is a prime example of a survey written by a seven-year old.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5162","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stuff","two-columns"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5162","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/13"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5162"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5162\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5162"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5162"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5162"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}