Things to do. Things not to do.<\/p>\n
Today, despite being (in my head and externally) normal\/cheery, I feel (in my heart) incredibly weepy.<\/p>\n
Grief (or the act of grieving) seems to be sitting squarely and suffocatingly heavily around my shoulders.<\/p>\n
Al I can think of is what I’ve lost (everything), and compare that to what’s left (…….) .<\/p>\n
Still, onwards and upwards.<\/p>\n
I have decided that I’m going to live the rest of my life alone.<\/p>\n
Which looks very odd when I see it like that, but the decision is resolute.<\/p>\n
I’m not planning on becoming celibate; given what passes for ‘normal’ in my libido, that seems very unlikely.<\/p>\n
But I have decided to be by myself; keep my own company.<\/p>\n
I can’t imagine putting any emotional trust in anyone ever again.<\/p>\n
Speaking of trust.<\/p>\n
I have to go to Cheltenham tomorrow. It will be, from an analytical point interesting to see how strong the desire to pull certain searches might be.<\/p>\n
Today I will be buying a new iron.<\/p>\n
And trying not to weep.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Things to do. Things not to do. Today, despite being (in my head and externally) normal\/cheery, I feel (in my heart) incredibly weepy. Grief (or<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5600","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stuff","two-columns"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5600","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/13"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5600"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5600\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5600"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5600"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5600"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}