{"id":651,"date":"2008-08-03T08:47:27","date_gmt":"2008-08-03T07:47:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/?p=651"},"modified":"2008-08-03T10:07:23","modified_gmt":"2008-08-03T09:07:23","slug":"what-would-churchill-say","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/?p=651","title":{"rendered":"What would Churchill say?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Winston Spencer, the wartime British leader. Not the monosyllabic puppet dog off of the insurance adverts from the actual television*<\/em><\/p>\n

Churchill famously said, on the occurence of events: The first time it’s happenstance, the second time it’s coincidence, the third time it’s enemy action.<\/p>\n

So what would the great wartime leader say if one person did the following things to one other person in a single afternoon?<\/p>\n

1. While I’m grooming my horse, don’t tie yours up behind and proceed to bath it with a hosepipe. Because you would be above us – on the downwards sloping concrete pad. Because the water would swill down and my horse and I would have to paddle in your run-off and that would be inconsiderate. Wouldn’t it?<\/p>\n

2. When you turn on the hosepipe don’t point it at me, because then I’d have to spend the rest of my time at the yard with a wet foot where you sprayed my shoe with a full burst from the hosepipe because that would be inconsiderate. Wouldn’t it?<\/p>\n

3. When I move my horse to the far side of the bay away from the mini-replica of the Amazon delta you’ve been creating beneath our feet, don’t dry off your horse’s tail by swishing it around, helicopter fashion, splashing my horse, me and my tack<\/em>, in your excess water, because that would be inconsiderate. Wouldn’t it?<\/p>\n

4. Security is an admirable goal but when I’m still on the yard don’t double-lock the security door on the tack room, because that would be inconsiderate. Wouldn’t it?<\/p>\n

5. And when you do this inconsiderate thing of putting the main combination lock on the tack room, don’t<\/em> put it on the wrong way round, forcing whoever comes along next (that would be me) in to contortionist-like positions to try and read the numbers on the base, because that would be even more inconsiderate. Wouldn’t it?<\/p>\n

6. I know that security is something high on your list but whilst I’m still on the yard don’t feel that you have to lock the main gate, locking me in – you’ve guessed it – with the lock on the wrong way round forcing me to climb over the gate in order to open it, because that would really be inconsiderate. Wouldn’t it?<\/p>\n

* Yeah. Sorry about the syntax. Too many doses of Scott Mills.<\/em><\/p>\n

B<\/strong><\/em>.<\/p>\n

p.s. BT have obviously seen the error of their ways and are currently delivering a far more accommodating 3.3Mbs<\/p>\n

p.p.s. I know that one person from the yard regularly visits this blog (have you nothing better to do?). So I’ll just say that it’s a good job that none of these things happened in real life. Nope. Not a single one of them. Just the products of my imagination, all of them. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Winston Spencer, the wartime British leader. Not the monosyllabic puppet dog off of the insurance adverts from the actual television* Churchill famously said, on the<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-651","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stuff","two-columns"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/651","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/13"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=651"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/651\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=651"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=651"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=651"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}