{"id":6705,"date":"2012-02-14T06:00:13","date_gmt":"2012-02-14T06:00:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/?p=6705"},"modified":"2012-02-14T01:50:31","modified_gmt":"2012-02-14T01:50:31","slug":"a-bad-case-of-vd-1429","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/?p=6705","title":{"rendered":"A bad case of VD (14\/29)"},"content":{"rendered":"

warning: this post contains many bad words and is definitely not safe for work<\/em><\/p>\n

Yes I know, comrades, I fucking know.<\/p>\n

It is that time of year, again.<\/p>\n

Like a really bad case of Groundhog Day, the Clinton-inspired machinery has wound itself to the very maximum of its ability, and has spewed Valentines Day messages down our throats at Every. Single. Fucking. Opportunity.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It really is enough to make one vom.<\/p>\n

In fact I just did.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I need to take a moment’s breather, in this dialogue, to point out that the motivational rage behind my ire and spew is not because I unexpectedly entered, in October last year, the status of a newly-inducted, card-carrying member of the Exalted Club of Singletons.<\/p>\n

Not in the least.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Though you might forgive me for being cynical. Because of, you know, recent history.<\/p>\n

And a bit bitter.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But as a former happily-married person, the weird fallacy of *having to buy your wife a card*, in to which, one would have to write a witty inscription, in a disguised hand, never sat comfortably as a piece of logic in my mind.<\/p>\n

The world is, surely, madder than a mad hatter’s tea-party?<\/p>\n

Because you are widely read, my friend, you will recall that part of Douglas Adams’ ‘Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy’ is set on the planet of\u00a0Brontitall?<\/p>\n

And you will, no doubt, remember that the native inhabitants of\u00a0Brontitall are, in the here and now, bird people?<\/p>\n

And that the bird people used to be ground-dwellers, until the planet was taken over by the Shoe Corporation ‘Dolmansaxlil’ – and that Dolmansaxlil forced the population to buy more and more ill-fitting shoes, until they evolved in to bird people?<\/p>\n

Well I put it to you, my friend, that unless we rise up and seize the initiative from the Clinton Cards empire, we will be forced, as if on a parallel course like the bird people of Brontifall, to buy more and more cards for absolutely no fucking reason.<\/p>\n

Other than the purchase of said cards moves amounts of wealth to the Clinton Cards empire, obv.<\/p>\n

So let’s do it. Or rather, let’s not do it.<\/p>\n

Let’s not buy any VD cards or gifts.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Let’s look Clintons right in the eye and, with a hearty ‘Fuck you, Clintons’, tell them what we really think of VD.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Then go home to your wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend, cat, dog and\/or gerbil and, you know, actually *tell* them that you love them.<\/p>\n

From the heart.<\/p>\n

Not pretend that you are some pimply unknown-to-them who signs his name with a:<\/p>\n

?<\/strong><\/em><\/h1>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

warning: this post contains many bad words and is definitely not safe for work Yes I know, comrades, I fucking know. It is that time<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6705","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stuff","two-columns"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6705","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/13"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6705"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6705\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6705"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6705"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6705"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}