Somehow it feels that I’m more alone than usual this week.<\/p>\n
Yes, I’m in London but my house back home is empty. Sophie is also away this week. She’s at Aberystwyth on a week’s study course for her MSc.<\/p>\n
That extra bit of distance between us, it’s added a slightly more melancholy flavour than usual to my week of being apart from her.<\/p>\n
Anyway.<\/p>\n
She’s either working her cute little bum off, or she’s being a student. If it’s the former… Awwww. If it’s the latter… [chews fingernails].<\/p>\n
I’m keeping busy, it’s 22.55 and I’ve just finished work. Well yeah, I did have a break for tea around 19.30. Twenty minutes.<\/p>\n
Since then I’ve written a UAT schedule and a draft plan for system testing.<\/p>\n
And I’ve spoken to Daughter. We laughed. She soon hiccuped. I got the blame – go figure!<\/p>\n
And an idea for a short story has occurred. I like it, but I can’t see a market for it. Perhaps I should just write it for fun and see where it takes me?<\/p>\n
The trouble is that would take my writing away from Helicopter which is where it should be. Sigh.<\/p>\n
I’m sitting here sipping cold tea listening to ATSBO – a piece of music I’ve fallen in love with in the last fortnight – thinking I should be doing something else.<\/p>\n
I should be doing something more.<\/p>\n
I should be doing something.<\/p>\n
I know what this is.<\/p>\n
This is not working with Vin; this is not working my arse off. This is being unfit and this is not getting any exercise.<\/p>\n
It all changes in two weeks when we do The Move.<\/p>\n
I feel it’s fair to do the Init Cap thing there; it is a phrase in its own right with a weight and magnitude behind it that is, somehow, more significant than any of the International moves I’ve done before. It is bigger than two words being side-by-side on this electronic piece of paper.<\/p>\n
And I don’t know why. It just is.<\/p>\n
I suppose it’s related to my own insecurities; natural enough really. And none of the other moves I’ve done had this new insecurity haunting me, following me around like a scary black shadow.<\/p>\n
Tired. So weary.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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