{"id":75,"date":"2007-07-08T22:08:38","date_gmt":"2007-07-08T21:08:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/?p=75"},"modified":"2012-05-05T10:53:31","modified_gmt":"2012-05-05T09:53:31","slug":"best-served-cold%e2%80%a6","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/?p=75","title":{"rendered":"Best Served Cold"},"content":{"rendered":"

a short…<\/em><\/p>\n

Slowly, slowly catchee monkey.<\/p>\n

When I was a boy my father used to say it to me.<\/p>\n

He meant ‘don’t be impulsive, play the long game’.<\/p>\n

Decades later I used the phrase in combat.<\/p>\n

Mount Tumbledown.<\/p>\n

My troop – all three of us – were the point force for 2 Para south of Darwin when Colonel ‘H’ (who clearly hadn’t heard the phrase) picked up an SMG and stormed a well-dug-in-and-fortified Argentine position.<\/p>\n

While H was getting himself killed on the Ajax side of the Mount we picked off the Argies from their own left flank.<\/p>\n

Executed them under the clear, cold, black south Atlantic night sky.<\/p>\n

Shot them as their silhouettes, strobed by the fire-fight with the main force, highlighted every moment.<\/p>\n

It was like shooting big, stupid, slow-witted bears.<\/p>\n

By the time the three of us had downed 80 – who previously thought they were so securely dug-in they were invulnerable – the rest realised they were being slaughtered like animals.<\/p>\n

So they surrendered.<\/p>\n

The media made much of H’s sacrifice and that 1,200 Argentines surrendered to such a small British force.<\/p>\n

But the truth was that three specialist snipers played the long game and then expended our entire stock of ammunition in thirty-five minutes.<\/p>\n

Twenty-seven years since the Falklands and I’m still playing the long game.<\/p>\n

My target walked across the pedestrian precinct.<\/p>\n

Same time every Friday.<\/p>\n

Same routine.<\/p>\n

It’ll be his downfall.<\/p>\n

I smiled through the window as I sat on a stool in the cafe window.<\/p>\n

Watching.<\/p>\n

Playing the long game.<\/p>\n

Three years I’ve been watching.<\/p>\n

I’m going to teach you a lesson, friend.<\/p>\n

You don’t screw with me.<\/p>\n

As he walked up the steps to the building I entered the date, time and event in my notebook.<\/p>\n

For the last time I checked back to the previous week’s entry.<\/p>\n

Nothing different.<\/p>\n

He was met at the door with a handshake.<\/p>\n

I imagined the conversation.<\/p>\n

Come\u00c2\u00a0in<\/em>.<\/p>\n

His host waved his hand in front as if to part the air for the Great and Worthy Bastard.<\/p>\n

How’re your children?<\/em><\/p>\n

And your wife?<\/em><\/p>\n

Did they catch the attacker yet?<\/em><\/p>\n

Be patient, I’m sure they will soon.<\/em><\/p>\n

He went inside.<\/p>\n

I finished my cup of tea.<\/p>\n

The irony is that I could have stopped the attack on his wife.<\/p>\n

But it would have caused ripples.<\/p>\n

I might have left a profile – an image on a CCTV or a security camera or in someone’s head – as I decked the adolescent mugger.<\/p>\n

I’d been following her for an hour as she threaded her way through the shops, streets and markets.<\/p>\n

The boy came out of the alleyway.<\/p>\n

I saw him look her up and down, guessing her ability to fight back.<\/p>\n

He ran down the pavement, threaded his arm through the loops on her bag, smashed hard in to her and ran off.<\/p>\n

I was eighteen feet away, could have stopped him with a rabbit punch to the larynx.<\/p>\n

Let him pass<\/em>, said my head.<\/p>\n

I obeyed.<\/p>\n

She hit the pavement with a dull thud like a sack of potatoes.<\/p>\n

Fractured her skull.<\/p>\n

I could have stopped it.<\/p>\n

Could have taken him out before he got to her.<\/p>\n

I had the range, had the pace and had the ability.<\/p>\n

But protecting her wasn’t my role; I was on surveillance.<\/p>\n

He ran past me not knowing how near to death he’d just come.<\/p>\n

Slowly, slowly catchee monkey.<\/p>\n

This time, another form of assassination.<\/p>\n

I’m going to assassinate the character of someone who loves to be at the centre of his community.<\/p>\n

Three nights ago my target’s wife and children spent the night away; the first time in a year.<\/p>\n

A family party; they went last year.<\/p>\n

And the year before.<\/p>\n

Coincidentally, three nights ago the Essex Constabulary had photographed my target’s car as it kerb-crawled around two notorious red-light areas of the county.<\/p>\n

At noon yesterday photographs of the vehicle, its registration number and description were posted on one of those ‘goody-goody’ neighbourhood watch-type internet websites.<\/p>\n

At 3pm yesterday The Daily Mail<\/em> knew about it.<\/p>\n

At midnight last night two undercover reporters jumped out of a Ford Transit, loaded up the target’s rubbish bins from outside his house and drove off.<\/p>\n

I can imagine their shrieks of\u00a0laughter as the Mail<\/em>‘s reporters undid the rubbish bags that contained – amongst the usual household rubbish – the vilest, most horribly graphic images of child pornography.<\/p>\n

They probably rubbed their hands with glee as they discovered the torn-up-but-easily-reassembled stories of child rape and violent incest.<\/p>\n

As I waited for the next stage of the plan to occur I turned the car keys over in my pocket.<\/p>\n

Keys to a duplicate car, identical to his, the same registration details, same colour and even the same slightly fractured number plate on the rear.<\/p>\n

This evening I’ll remove the identifying marks and then torch it.<\/p>\n

In the glove compartment will be the mobile phone I used to call The Daily Mail<\/em>.<\/p>\n

And a computer hard-disk, a clone of the PC in my target’s office.<\/p>\n

Just like his reputation and professional career, everything will go up in flames.<\/p>\n

That’s right my friend.<\/p>\n

When I’m done, you won’t be able to get a job selling shirts on a market stall.<\/p>\n

In an hour and a half, when you go to your office, the police will be there, waiting.<\/p>\n

And they’ll find more pornography.<\/p>\n

As well as evidence that you’ve been spying on the occupants of the ladies toilet.<\/p>\n

And a sign-on for an on-line bookmaker’s account.<\/p>\n

In three years – or two, whenever it is they’re going to let you out – I’ll still be here.<\/p>\n

Watching.<\/p>\n

Waiting.<\/p>\n

Playing the long game.<\/p>\n

And I’ll get you again.<\/p>\n

And again.<\/p>\n

Don’t screw with me.<\/p>\n

Softly, softly catchee monkey.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

a short… Slowly, slowly catchee monkey. When I was a boy my father used to say it to me. He meant ‘don’t be impulsive, play<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-75","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stuff","two-columns"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/75","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/13"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=75"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/75\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=75"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=75"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=75"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}