I don’t want much.<\/p>\n
Apart from intolerance to vanish.<\/p>\n
And racist bastards to be put to death. And tax collectors. And politicians. And stupid people. And chavs<\/p>\n
See?<\/p>\n
I don’t want much.<\/p>\n
I would like to see Daughter at Christmas; fun though our telephone conversations are, they’re not the same without her happy face in view.<\/p>\n
I’m sitting here trying to plan a travel itinerary that would allow this to happen; have her come and spend a little quality time with her loving Dad.<\/p>\n
The way it has happened in the past has been both complex yet simple:<\/p>\n
1. Catch the morning EasyJet flight from Stansted to Almeria
\n2. Get met at Almeria by Daughter and Beastly
\n3. Daughter and me catch the evening Ryanair flight from Almeria to Stansted<\/p>\n
And then, about a week later, do the whole thing in reverse except:<\/p>\n
2. Get met at Almeria airport by Beastly who collects Daughter and sneers at me, in the ‘I’ve got a piece of shit on my shoes and an unpleasant smell up my nose’ manner that only exes can achieve.<\/p>\n
I said ‘trying to plan’ because there are a couple of flies in the ointment (how apt to be able to use the word ‘fly’ in dual context at the same time!)<\/p>\n
Fly #1: Ryanair, it seems, have stopped flying to Almeria. Bastards. This means that I must have an overnight stay in Almeria on both legs of the journey.<\/p>\n
Fly #2: EasyJet have stopped flying from Stansted to Almeria. It’s now Gatwick. Gatwick, my friends, is completely the wrong side of London. This means that I’d have to get up at something really stupid O’Clock to catch the morning flight on both UK to Spain legs of the journey. And Daughter, believe me, is sooooo not the morning person that her loving Dad is! In fact, getting her out of bed for school is a continual battle of titanic proportions which one day she will win and then the world as we know it will cease to exist. Or something.<\/p>\n
What would be brilliant and would make me happy and smiley and touchy and feely and stop me slaughtering innocents who happen to wander beneath my feet as I tread the gold-strewn pavements of Westminster is a simple solution:<\/p>\n
1. I fly out on the EasyJet flight
\n2. I remain on the plane and Daughter walks through Departures with the other passengers
\n3. We do our initial kissing and hugging onboard
\n4. We both fly out on the returning EasyJet flight.<\/p>\n
But that’s not allowed.<\/p>\n
OK then, how about this:<\/p>\n
1. I fly out on the EasyJet flight
\n2. I disembark with the passengers but with no luggage, go straight through customs, pick up Daughter in the departures lounge and…
\n3. We board the same (returning) EasyJet plane and fly ‘home’<\/p>\n
Erm no. That’s not allowed either because check-in for departing flights closes before the flight has actually touched down, IYSWIM.<\/p>\n
So that’s why I’m trying to book a travel itinerary. One that involves two overnight stays in Almeria and flights four flights from\/to a British airport on the wrong side of London.<\/p>\n
Fantastic. Absolutely fanbloodytastic.<\/p>\n
B<\/strong><\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I don’t want much. Apart from intolerance to vanish. And racist bastards to be put to death. And tax collectors. And politicians. And stupid people.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-772","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stuff","two-columns"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/772","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/13"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=772"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/772\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=772"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=772"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=772"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}