Today I have Christmas presents to wrap. But I am a simple, hamfisted male whose fingers and hands do not permit him to perform delicate tasks and therefore I am devoid of even the faintest speck of present-wrapping ability.<\/p>\n
By the way… Helloooooo!<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n Anyway, my attempts at present wrapping always start out brilliantly. The first two – or even three – folds are clinical; display a level of precision rarely seen outside of a draughtsman’s office.<\/p>\n But we (my fingers and I) soon reach a point from where it all goes downhill. Quickly. And gets out of control.<\/p>\n As fast as that time when, as an eight-year-old, I rode my newly-painted (Maroon? How did that happen?) pushbike down that bastard of a steep, steep <\/em>hill (King Street, Blaenavon) and by the time I got to the big right-hander halfway down the hill I was way too fast to make the turn in to Broad Street and the brakes were insufficient so I just gripped tightly and smacked in to the 6′ brick wall on the corner and knocked myself unconscious for a few minutes. And wrote off the newly painted bike. Wow! Where did that dusty little memory come from?<\/p>\n Anyway, I can’t wrap presents in pretty much the same way that I just can’t plait a horse’s mane. But with the latter I pay someone with less-fat fingers and with substantially smaller hands to do the job for me. With the former I persevere and, as a result, will shyly produce, when required, a gift that looks as though it was started off well but finished up being wrapped by an infinite number of monkeys.<\/p>\n Because that’s my style.<\/p>\n In other news… As part of my 2009 goal to beat this insomnia dragon that sits and smoulders away on my shoulder I have started keeping a sleep diary. It might not amount to much but I’m determined to try and do something positive for myself in the course of the new year.<\/p>\n So hey, I’d better get on. I mean, it’s 09.45 and I have so much time to fill. Yes indeedy!<\/p>\n B<\/strong><\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Today I have Christmas presents to wrap. But I am a simple, hamfisted male whose fingers and hands do not permit him to perform delicate<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-903","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stuff","two-columns"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/903","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/13"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=903"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/903\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=903"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=903"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brennigjones.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=903"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}