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Blogathon 21/13 Stupids

flood-audi_thumb

 

 

I’m afraid it’s flooded, mate

 

 

 

 

The highway code for dual-carriageways, triple-carriageways and motorways, especially written for Audi drivers

  • You are allowed to use the left-hand lane (lane 1)
  • Actually, you are, by law, compelled to use the left-hand lane (lane 1) (unless you are overtaking another vehicle that is in the left-hand lane [lane 1])
  • When you wish to overtake another vehicle that is in the left-hand lane (lane 1), you should use the first overtaking lane (lane 2)
  • To change lanes from the left-hand lane (lane 1) to the first overtaking lane (lane 2), you must:
    • match your speed to that of any traffic that may be overtaking you
    • check your mirrors
    • glance over your right shoulder to validate your mirrors
    • if clear, signal
    • check your mirrors again and if still clear, manoeuvre (but only if it is clear to do so, and only if there is sufficient space in the first overtaking lane (lane 2), if there is not sufficient space, you must wait until it is clear to do so, until you pull out and then you may)
    • accelerate to the maximum speed limit (nb, the law does not permit you to exceed the speed limit in order to overtake; anyone who has told you otherwise is clearly a very stupid person)
  • When you have overtaken that vehicle, the law compels you to revert to the left-hand lane (lane 1)
  • Another vehicle, three miles ahead, in lane 1 does not constitute sufficient reason to stay out of the left-hand lane (lane 1)
  • No, not ever
  • You may use the second overtaking lane (lane 3) if you wish to overtake slow-moving traffic in lane 1 and the first overtaking lane (lane 2)
  • After using the second overtaking lane (lane 3), you are compelled to return to the left-hand lane (lane 1) as quickly as possible, using safe driving rules

I have come to realise, in recent weeks, that Audi drivers are special people. I have also come to realise that Audi drivers need all the help they can get, with driving on Britain’s roads.

I hope me laying out a few simple rules of the road are taken as they are meant.

(to help the simple-minded)

4 thoughts on “Blogathon 21/13 Stupids”

    1. I had several run-ins (runs-in?) with Audi drivers this morning. And then I realised that the vast majority of behind-the-steering-wheel-teeth-grinding over the last few weeks has been because of Audi drivers. There are others out there who deserve a special mention, but Audi drivers are, head and shoulders, more notable than any others.

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