In days of yore when men were sore and chickens weren’t invent… no. I’ll start that again.
In days of old, when Knights were bold and women weren’t particular. They’d prop them up against the wall and screw them perp… no. That’s not quite what I’m aiming for either. Once more with feeling.
A long time ago in a galaxy far fa… buggerit. I’ll start again.
Olden mobile phoneulars used to be renown for causing pocket-based accidents. You’d get a phone call and all you could hear would be someone walking along, or background radio noise, or a conversation about mushrooms and courgettes or similar. But the nice new modern smartphones have, by and large, eliminated that kind of accident. Or we’ve all got better at locking our phones. Or both. Which is a bit of a shame for those folk who enjoyed eavesdropping on private conversations about mushrooms and courgettes, I’m sure. But that’s progress for you.
Anyway.
I have been subject to a different kind of accidental pocket activity. My car windows have been letting the side down. Both sides in fact. Front and back. I’d go out to the car and blow me sideways (but only in the comfort and solitude of our own home, obvs) all four windows would be fully open. It’s a thing. And it’s a thing that’s happened several times. So I researched it, as you would. And yes, it’s an intended feature. Hold the big button down for about five seconds from a reasonable distance away and the car unlocks itself and rolls all the windows down. Similarly, hold the smaller button down for about five seconds (once again, from a reasonable distance away) and the car locks itself and rolls all the windows up. I’m trying to find a practical application for this feature but right now that’s eluding me.
So yes, I have inadvertently been unlocking the car and opening all the windows from the comfort of our own settee/couch/sofa/whatever you call it. Sometimes the car has been in that condition all night. It’s a very good job we live in a low-population, no-crime area!
Googling the problem gives me various websites where other folk have accidentally found the same feature. But there doesn’t seem to be any solution. I shall keep looking. My good lady wife her indoors says I should just take the car key off the keyring but what’s the use of that?
Here’s a bit of blue-sky-out-of-the-box thinking (feel free to shoot me down if you think it’s too radical): how about taking the keys out of your pocket and putting them on a coffee table or something?
Radical, dude, really radical. I’m gonna take some time to try and get my head around this.