A tale of illness, lust, horses and bad continuity

I am unwell.

Coldy, coughy, achy and shivvery.

So I have decided – with a little encouragement from The Lovely S – to spend bits of the day in bed.

I spent all morning in bed, reclining on plumped-up pillows flitting around the interweb while The Lovely S did domestic things.

I had my laptop and used the opportunity to catch up on some surfing.

I’ve been bookmarking interesting-looking websites for weeks, filing the bookmarks away for when I had time to give them the attention they deserve.

It was a morning of disappointment.

I had bookmarked an article on the history of the Latin American transistor/electronics industry.

Imagine my total shock when I clicked the bookmark ‘Brazilian Trannies‘ and was presented with rude photographs of men women men women people of dubious sexuality!

How awful!

Nothing to do with the early days of electronics, transistors and radio/television valves at all!

Similarly, the bookmark ‘I Love Feet‘ was nothing to do with the early days of Clarks Shoes or the Clarks shoe factory in Street, Somerset (very near where I used to live). And what on earth was that thick, creamy-looking white stuff that those feet were sprayed with? And why were they always young women’s feet?

I had to have a lie down I was so shocked! Except I was in bed already. So I had a swig of water instead.

After these two frights, imagine my abject horror when I clicked on ‘Sweet P’ and discovered the website had nothing to do with the horticultural development of the genus Lathyrus Odoratus!

I had another swig of water – carefully this time, as the term ‘watersports’ had suddenly taken on a whole new meaning!

Whatever next?

Was I going to learn that Nigella Lawson declaring that ‘snowballs are the big Winter drink’ is nothing to do with Advocaat?

Fortunately before I could go down that road The Lovely S came and joined me in bed where we watched an episode of 24.

Half-past one in the afternoon and we’re tucked up in bed watching 24. Rock’n’roll!

Afterwards we got up and The Lovely S demonstrated that she has various body parts that talk like Mr Bean. It was most educational

Then, via a quick visit to Detroitwich I drove to the yard to get 16 hands between my legs.

Except Vinnie is somewhat larger than 16 hands but I like the phrase and I’m going to continue to use it – 16.3 hands between my legs is clumsy and doesn’t work.

Anyway.

Vinnie was a twat.

It took me 20 minutes to get his bridle on and when we walked in to the arena he wouldn’t stand still for me to mount.

Those who’ve known me for a number of years will remember that I’ve broken a leg in that situation before – not with Vinnie, natch – it fair put the willies up me, going through a similar situation again.

So, determined not to let him have the upper hoof, I ran him around the arena, three laps, to try to take a little of the wind out of his sails.

It worked.

Back at the mounting block Vin stood rock still while I got on.

And all thoughts of twatishness vanished from his lovely little orange head.

He was a star.

We did flatwork – concentrating on transitions, improving his balance, rhythm and suppleness.

I love his attitude to work.

In fact I love his attitude. I’ve never sat on Vin and felt the ‘can’t really be arsed’ thoughts come back up the reins at me.

He’s a brilliant chap. I still miss Beech, but Vin was never intended to be Beech’s replacement; Vin was always going to be the serious competitor while Beech would step back a gear and be the fun horse.

Vin’s attitude to work is only matched by his ability, he’s a great athlete and despite his greenness he has unbelievable potential in the competitive world.

So…

After a very positive schooling session, he was untacked, groomed, double-rugged up (it felt as though it could get cold tonight) and in his box scoffing his tea, I came back home where – still hot and sweaty – I showered, shaved and cooked our tea. Oh yeah, and ate it too.

Then we watched another episode of 24.

When it ended I made The Lovely S laugh with my favourite limerick.

Then we watched yet another episode of 24.

The thing about watching a number of episodes in a shortened space of time is that one notices the errors.

And there are many errors in 24 – chiefly in the continuity and writing departments.

But it’s enjoyable for all that.

And now, at 22.15, it’s bed time; another chapter of reading then sleep.

Speaking of sleep, The Lovely S didn’t manage to wake me last night with more giggles and ‘Yaaaaay’s’. Sadly she doesn’t remember what she was laughing and cheering over the night before last.

She is as disappointed as I am.

Boooo!!

B.