Home invasion

After a long absence, next-door’s cat has started creeping into our house. He’s cunning, only attempts entry when everyone is asleep. Everyone except the dogflap camera, that is.

So I clearly need to do something to stop this pissing, thieving cat-burglar from doing what he’s been doing.

He always hits the place where we leave cat food, so rather than get complicated here’s my cunning plan:

• Move the dogflap camera to the cat-feeding place
• Place a sheet of conductive metal beneath the catfood bowls
• Connect the conductive metal to an electrical supply
• Switch the motion detector alert on the dogflap camera app on
• When the alert notifies me of activity, check it’s the enemy and if it is…
• Switch on the electrical supply to the conductive metal from the comfort of my own bed

Now, there are questions to be asked/answered about the voltage. My initial thought was to get one of those electric fence things that I used to use to contain the horses. But this is a hyper-cunning bastard. He’s the kind of cat that’s going to keep trying (and besides, the plan above only gets him when he’s stealing food, it doesn’t get him when he’s literally pissing about downstairs).

So I’m thinking that I need to deliver a more shocking voltage. A level of electrocution that’s going to stop him immediately.

I shall keep you appraised of progress.