This just in…
William Shakespeare is dead.
It’s official.
William Shakespeare died on the evening of Monday 3rd September 2007.
Died near Dalton-in-Furness, south Cumbria.
As if these statements aren’t bizarre enough, here’s some more to go with them – and hold on to your hats kids because they’re all related!
As you may have guessed by now, the William Shakespeare in question was not the William Shakespeare (butt of many Bard and ‘you’re barred’ jokes).
This William Shakespeare was… (wait for it)… a water buffalo.
Oh yes my friends, a water buffalo.
And as if that’s not weird enough.
William Shakespeare lived (and died) in the well-known hang-out of water buffalos – south Cumbria.
For those looking in to this blog who may be unfamiliar with either the natural habitat of the genus ‘water buffalo’ or the locale ‘south Cumbria’ I should explain that ‘south Cumbria’ is to ‘water buffalo’ what ‘water buffalo’ is to skydiving.
Apparently William Shakespeare (the water buffalo) was a privately-owned animal that had escaped from his pasture.
When I say ‘escaped’ I mean ‘meandered on to the busy road known as the A590’.
Where, as he strolled about – no doubt thinking complicated water buffaloesque thoughts – he was brutally mown down.
By a Nissan Micra.
Sadly (as previously stated) William’s condition was fatal.
I suspect the Nissan Micra’s future was terminated too.
The driver of the Micra was cut from his car by the Fire service before being removed to hospital where he was treated for injuries.
And who said life on this planet is boring?
B.
Dalton-in-Furness sure is a place for unusual goings on when it comes to wildlife. Not too many years ago a rampaging White Rhino was shot dead in the very same area of South Cumbria after it had escaped and went wandering.
Something tells me that in decades to come, my grandchildren will think I’m just a daft old fool when I tell them about the day a white Rhino (which will probably be extinct by then) was shot in Dalton, and a water buffalo got run over on ye-olde A590.
Yep, Granddad is telling his tall tales again.
This is so funny. I laughed out loud on the bus when I read it (on my mobile phone). Very sad for the buffalo and the driver of the Micra, though … hope the driver was OK in the end.
Oooh, SG – read on your mobile?
You must tell me all about it, what handset you use, who your contract is with and anything else!
Yes, very addictive, I’m afraid. I’m with 3 and I get loads of free internet time. I have a Nokia 6280, which I think is quite an old phone now. Great for browsing blogs on the way to work, but it can become a bit obsessive so be warned!