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Oxford cyclists

Oxford cyclists.

Aren’t they amazing?

Last night as we drove in to town – in the pitch black and the pouring rain – we encountered many members of that unique category of the human race, road users who believe that not only are the laws of common sense something that can be completely ignored, but who also believe they are above the requirements of the Road Traffic Act (1988, as amended by RTA 1991).

What an amazing breed they are.

  • No lights (front or rear)
  • No hi-viz clothing
  • No hardened headgear (p.s. wooly hats actually don’t count!)

Away they trundle, bobbing and weaving unsteadily in and out of lines of traffic in a manner that would earn a person taking their CBT (the most basic moped driving test) an immediate fail for being dangerous.

I realise that some motorists are below the acceptable standard, but at least they’ve passed a test somewhere along the line. I find it impossible to believe that a large proportion of Oxford’s cyclists have passed their Cycling Proficiency Test.

Take the girl out on her bicycle last night.

Three quarters of the way down the street in which I was driving, I saw a parking space on my side of the road.

I checked the mirrors, nothing there, switched the indicator on and gently braked in a text-book position to begin the parallel-parking manoeuvre. I checked the mirrors again, put the car in to gear and began to reverse in to the vacant space.

Then, out of the corner of my eye, I caught a sudden movement behind me. Instantly I stopped the car in the middle of the road and got out to check what I had seen.

About 24 feet behind the car, on the ground, was a young girl – early teens – on a bike that was plainly too big for her. Her preferred method of dealing with the common situation of cycling towards a reversing vehicle is, it seems, not to apply her brake to reduce speed and come to a halt, or to manoeuvre out in to the road and pass the vehicle, but to throw herself off the bike and in to the road.

Amazing.

Why didn’t I see her in the dark and in the rain before I began the reversing movement?

Because she had no lights and no hi-viz clothing and yes folks, it was bloody dark.

Doubly amazing.

Yes, she could have made a loop out to the side of my car, there was sufficient space for her to pass easily (a car’s width), but instead she threw herself in to the road.

Mind you, talking of ‘could have’s’, she could have put a fucking light on the front of her bike and worn a hi-viz vest.

But then again, common sense seems to be in short supply in some people.

Like, for example, the other two Oxford cyclists we saw who ignored a red light at the start of a set of road works, and rode down the middle of the single alternating lane of traffic right in to the face of oncoming vehicles.

Amazing once again.

Increasingly, there are voices in the media being raised against the recklessness of the cycling fraternity.

Is it any wonder?

8 thoughts on “Oxford cyclists”

  2. Hi Soupy. When she stopped crying she mumbled a couple of sentences in her own language (which I didn’t have) and walked off with her bike. I had asked her if she was alright, she did show me a scraped elbow (skin unbroken).

  3. You must have a similar strain of cyclists in Oxford to the ones here! Not that long ago, just as Hubby slowed to stop at the STOP at the end of our street, one came zooming off the pavement on the main village street, across the end of our street and clobbered into the side of the car. Had the cyclist done his mental suicide manoeuvre just a second sooner, it would have been car clobbering cyclist and cyclist finishing up in the middle of the main road.
    They don’t seem to be that keen on having lights here either.
    Cyclists are scary. Plus there is potential for paintwork damage. Give them a wide berth. If you spot them in the dark first.

  4. Oh, it’s because your drivers are too good. Take Southern California, where people drive enormous SUVs as if there were strictly alone on the road, not paying attention to anything else than their traffic lights and signs: here cyclists behave. It’s mere survival of the fittest.

  5. Cyclists around here seem to believe that all drivers have (or should have) Motie-like talents to avoid them no matter what boneheaded stunts they pull.

    Also, drivers around here seem to believe the same of the cyclists. Besides, they’re busy phoning or texting or reading, and too busy to pay attention.

    In terms of intelligence, it’s a draw. In terms of inertia, the cyclists always lose.

  6. Here in Manchester they’re bloody lethal. I nearly got run over by a postie on a bike the other day doing roughly 50mph down the pavement. Tit. And I got stuck behind some utter twat wobbling his way down the white lines in the middle of the road. I beeped to ask him to move to the side of the road and got the middle finger for my troubles. The temptation to undertake him and open the car door as I passed was almost overwhelming….

  7. As a former Oxford cyclist, I know exactly what you mean. I’ve seen many terrifying almost-catastrophes and some very definite catastrophes. I was always so careful myself based on the is-that-one-second-you’re-going-to-save-really-that-important mentality.

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