The annoying little bastard boy in the seat behind wants to die.
Not a big deal as things go.
I believe we should all have the right to decide when and where we go and if he, at the ripe old age of, ummm, three, has come to the undoubtedly correct decision that his life is so unbearably futile that he’s going to end it by topping himself on this particular Oxford Tube by spinning wildly out of control down the aisle of the bus to smash in to the panelling at the end every time the driver touches the brakes, then that is his right.
However.
His mother, who is sitting on the opposite side of the aisle to him is clearly culpable in the act of his demise and that, I believe, makes her guilty of some offence or other.
Look people, the rules are simple – and were announced by the same, tired old announcement that this service makes every single day, and they were announced over the PA not fifteen of your earth-minutes ago.
Put your fucking seat belt on. It is the fucking law you idiot fucking imbecile child from hell.
Ah but no, my friends, this one knows better.
Seatbeltless, he rattles around in his chair and in the aisle as he passes a word-puzzle magazine to his equally mentally defective grandmother in front of him – she is sitting next to me.
Yes, the child’s mother and his grandmother clearly want the little spawn of Satan darling to die.
Isn’t that murder?
Look dears, why don’t you just fasten the seatbelt around the obnoxious little bastard’s throat waist and then granny can just face forward instead of spinning around in her seat like some kind of a bad extra from The Exorcist.
And then I can have some peace and quiet and stop bothering these lovely people on the internet with my bad language.
Thank you.
Haha! You’re right that Oxford Tube announcement is very, very tired and old …. I reckon perhaps they should change it to your version…then again, maybe not. I never get when children get away with things like that – presumably they’d never be allowed to ride in a car without their seatbelt done up?
lol! Loved the write up. I hate people like that. Then they don’t understand why their little darlings grow up to be horrific Teens From Hell.
Natural selection means that the little shit is unlikely to ever reach its teens so at least you don’t have to worry about it breeding.
Emma, it’s a difficult one. Why would you strap a child in to a car yet not strap him/her in to the bus? Or, logically, do these people never strap their children down? Interesting point, thanks.
S. Le, I think Vicola has a possible point!
Vicola, Maybe! But the law of sod might play a part here… 🙂
Seat belts are required in buses? Virginia must still be the frontier, then. We do have armrests and other things to hang on though.
Well, Vicola, you have to consider the fact that the mother and grand-mother are clearly more retarded than the child, who can have the excuse of 1) being three 2) having been brought up by incompetent, selfish and irresponsible people who can only be described using a lot of expletives. Unfortunately, both the mother and the grand-mother survived natural selection and managed to reproduce, so I wouldn’t be so certain the little darling will never be allowed to breed.