He’s a peculiar bloke, our plumber…
Yes, I apologise for the old gag.
Having eaten our tea we were about to sit and (her) watch some period film or other while (him) pottered around on the internet and then shifted over to Mark Radcliffe’s well-titled book ‘Thank You For The Days’, when there was indeed a tap on the door.
We don’t have guests.
We are so completely antisocial, such rabid people-haters that we don’t ever have guests.
There is a sign pinned to the outside of the moat-bridge; it warns those who would dare stray in the direction of our house that crocodiles, vampire bats and the odd ferocious goldfish or two roam the grounds with their laser eyes set permanently to kill.
Anyway, back to the tap.
The chap who stood outside announced his name, said he lived down by the green and said he was organising a barbecue – and would we be interested in joining him, and everyone else who attended, on the green at some date in July?
We checked our hectic social diaries, the Sophster and I, and agreed that, by some massive fluke conspired in the furthest depths of the unknown corners of the cosmos, we were indeed both going to be free on the date in question.
We communicated to Dave (for that is his name), that with luck and a following wind we would, probably, be there.
It’ll be nice, I think, to mix and mingle with everyone else from this small place, on the green.
I hope they don’t mind us bringing the vampire bats. With the laser eyes.
Thanks for the giggle. Love the imagery.
Aren’t these sociable people kind of, you know, weird? I mean, wanting to spend some time with people you don’t know anything about except that they live nearby? Very, very peculiar, I say.
And now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to feed the bats. These laser eyes require energy, you know.
That’s village life for you. That’s how it starts: the locals being neighbourly and welcoming you into the community.
Then, before you know it, you find yourself listening to The Archers and manning a craft stall at the village fete.
Hey – I already listen to The Archers!!! Just caught up on a couple of episodes this morning! And I talk to them too…out loud, in the car, as I’m listening. I admonish or congratulate various characters.
Perhaps if Dave reads this we’ll be uninvited?
Sophx